A collection of Semi-Transparent coloured locks overlaid with a outline of a key. Placed over a male and female profile silhouette.

By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC       

After reading the article titled, “Suicide—what can we say,” a reader wrote, “Through your words, I got a glimpse of the merciful, loving side of God. My brother was a true Christian, yet he took his life.  As I read, I saw the truth of when people are very, very sick they come to the place where they can’t go on. I feel a deeper assurance that my brother is with Jesus.

Many have walked the halls of their homes doing an inward battle with suicide’s call. During a challenging divorce early in my life, I, too, wanted to die. It could have happened except God intervened. (That story is covered in my book titled, The Chaplain is in journey to health and happiness at Amazon: healing-with-Joy.com

While in his early teens one of our sons was facing off with two major illnesses that gravely challenged his ability to stay on planet earth. Emotionally, he had his “pits” to climb out of each and every day.

One day, he decided the load was too much, he said, “Mom. I’m going to end my life.” The panic felt like an inner scream. Shock helped me be still. I had to listen.

“Why! Tell me more!”

After getting no response, I asked, ““How do you think this will happen?”

“I’ll take Abe [his black Labrador dog] with me into the hills behind our house. No one will know where I am . . . an overdose of insulin is all it will take.”

We had taken our son to counselors, one after another to help him adjust to his health difficulties. But as he neared 18 he refused to continue these efforts. And, he would not take medication for any reason other than for his diabetes. I knew the only thing I could do was pray–and, I did a lot of praying!

Also, while in high school, he was bullied, shaken down at school by bigger kids who took the money he carried to use at vending machines when his blood sugar levels dropped dangerously low. His diabetes was “brittle,” meaning that frequent and extreme swings in blood glucose levels caused hyperglycemia or hypoglycemia at points during most days. The bully-types could see his vulnerability. So six months before graduation he quit school. I felt painfully helpless. Gary, my husband, and I were doing everything we knew to do in hopes of helping him feel valued, loved and cherished. We knew we could lose him—one way or another—either through the diabetes or suicide.

That was 30 years ago.  Our family is fortunate, as our son was able to climb his way back up, over the edge of suicide’s steep cliff. His choice to stay alive was, without a doubt, more difficult than any of us can imagine. Actually, this son makes a choice every day to live. His brittle diabetes requires eight to ten insulin shots throughout any given day.

At that point in life, I did not have degrees in psychology and theology. Fortunately, all I needed was a great love for my son—and that the most important thing I could do was to listen . . . listen . . . listen.

 I also knew to “hear” what was left unsaid.” This meant my best and only weapon against suicide was to keep him talking. I kept my mouth shut while being scared out of my wits. Instead, I prayed. Boy howdy did I pray!

I praise God as my son is alive today. He is faithful to prayer day-by-day on his own and lives his life according to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

For sure, the very best thing we can do within our families  is to keep pouring love  to one another—loving enough to listen, letting the one who is struggling know we are there for them, caring deeply about what they are feeling.  Our questions may be shrugged off, yet asking them helps our loved ones know we are truly hearing them and truly there for them within this dreadful time. This is more important than anyone can know.

Another side to this matter comes in the fact that we cannot know what another is cogitating. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to prevent a loved one from taking his or her life. But we can pray. Scripture tells us to “Pray without ceasing . . . “ (1 Thessalonians 5:16).

Let’s make a habit of praying for our loved ones “without ceasing.” And, letting God in on our fears.

If you wish to join the conversation, an opportunity to comment is offered below. Another blog you may want to see is at:  https://healing-with-joy.com/suicide-what-can-we-say/

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Please know there are over a hundred helpful articles for people who are struggling with varied difficulties at heaing-with-Joy.com