My Grandmother Margret chewed tobacco. She grew up in Arkansas in the early 1900s at a time when most teenagers savored this practice. But Grandma continued this into her old age.

Certainly, this was a questionable behavior for us who are her grandchildren. Inwardly, we “closed our noses” while seeing her use her spit can. But I enjoyed my grandmother. She loved having me comb her hair and just be with her. She mended clothes and crocheted from mid-life on. The greatest thing about this grandmother is that she loved God and was quietly prayerful. She always went to church – in fact she helped found a little church in Boise, Idaho, on Main Street while beginning her family of eight children.

Her husband, my “Grandpa” Butler was a logger, at that time. He did not approve of Grandma’s religion. In fact he hid her shoes so she would not go to church. But Grandma went anyway, in her bare feet. His objections to her faith were definite until the time when a tree fell on him, after which an angel stood on the stump and preached him a sermon. From that time on this Grandpa went to church with Grandma into his old age.

I will pause for a moment to tell you about my Grandmother Mary, on my mother’s side. She too was wonderful, a mother of 12 children of French lineage, the family dating back to the times of King Louis XIV. Her forefathers migrated into Québec in the 1600s. Although I have not traveled there I have a picture of a statue erected in honor of that family as Germain and Reine Lepage (brothers) were early settlers of Québec, able people, notable contributors.

This grandmother always had our attention and our respect. She too went to church regularly alone without her husband, and always put others ahead of herself. She was quiet. I only remember one conversation with Grandma Mary. I was about to be married. She gave me this advice, “Have a glass of water at bedtime – and nothing else.” I knew exactly what she was saying . . . still, I did my part with posterity, adding three sons within less than a decade.

There is no comparison of these Grandparents. Each of them taught me the importance of family and of the importance of sacrificing for one’s family. These messages came through observing them, as I have no memory of them giving advice, except for the one exception extended as noted above. How they lived their lives with love for God and love for their families brought considerable knowledge and wealth to my soul.

With Grandma Mary, who hardly ever spoke at all, I learned the power of presence. I came to understand the importance of silence. Especially, at meals where it was mostly about digesting our food. Grandma Mary was a master of silence, while I continually pray to practice it.
Grandparents have powerful roles in the lives of children and grandchildren. Whatever they do or do not do– these are notable people—prominent people in most every society. Of course not everyone succeeds well as a grandparent. They, too serve as what not to do.

Another lesson I learned from my grandparents was to be hard-working and to care very much about those who are outside your own family. My Grandfather Henry had a large grocery store, was cheated out of his business by a brother, then started a small neighborhood grocery. He was known for feeding families on credit. I was told by a schoolmate, once, of how her family made it through the depression because of my grandfather. He did not go to church but certainly exemplified the teachings of the Bible through the way he lived. He was very much loved by all of us. His work at the store was endless; still grandad took time with us kids, teaching us how to play cards. But we can never play on Sunday. That was his rule.

Why tell of the snus habit my grandmother maintained? Well, I think Grandma Margret would want me to do so if it could help others “get a clue.” We who loved her looked beyond what was ugly and saw all the beauty in her. Maybe that is the way we should look at ourselves, while doing our best to get past our “uglys.” Could it be God has great joy, in being within our souls, regardless of what we have not yet overcome? Maybe He is watching us like little children learning to dance. We miss a lot of steps, yet keep going! He sees what we accomplish in spite of it all. In the long haul what God sees is the good, while pulling for us to “stay in the light.”

There is lots to be said about not judging one another, while keeping our minds on what we can improve in ourselves. Grandma’s faux pas was right out there in front for all to see, pretty much continually. Conversely, most of us struggle silently with ways in which we know we could do better. But hiding what can bring shame is definitely hard on our health, both physically and spiritually. It is great knowing those who truly love us overlook the fact we are not perfect. This is giving one another grace. If we judge another, it means we don’t truly love them.

I believe both of my grandmothers were “saints.” Yet, I was closest to Grandmother Margret because she shared her heart. She talked of her faith. The fact she also lived it was evident, plus the whole family always knew this dear person was praying for us. Before she died she told me of her practice of praying every day for all members of the family by name. That would be a lot of names! Since then I’ve worked at carrying her tradition forward. Her portraying, through word and deed, what it is to be a Christian resulted in nearly every one of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren becoming people of faith. I learned from her that it pays to speak up about matters of faith—and to do one’s best to bring our families all the way to heaven’ gates through keeping them in our prayers.

“Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)