There seems to be a powerful inner aversion to loving and appreciating ourselves, at least for many of us.

We wrap ourselves up in “Almighty Work” with goals for owning lovely homes, impressive cars, garments of every shape and color. This is all well and good, as long as the work itself and what we are able to produce through it, are not perceived to be the measure of our worth.

True celebration of what could offer heartfelt, memorable moments is robbed of its glory, as most often work wins out. Who has not felt an edge of guilt while sitting with a treasured book? After all, the yard needs work and floors beg cleaning.

Yet, life can become monotonous if we  don’t recognize the definite need for making sure there is time to enjoy and savor the fruits of our labors—alongside clocking in at work, plus cleaning pots and pans and doing the laundry, while training energized children!

Always, there will be the inevitable surprises of life. Having a balanced life makes us better prepared for these when they come.

Loving ourselves means taking time out to simply enjoy the gift of human “beingness.” Like taking an hour to read a novel—or even 15 minutes to simply think about good memories . . . playing with the children, or the dog . . . take a walk or run through the park. . . have a meaningful conversation . . . or write a loving letter to a close friend. These are a few poignant ways for reviving the spirit. It just takes loving oneself enough to grant these little leisures.

Then, what of the Sabbath day of rest we are called to set aside for restful wholeness? Have you ever noticed how many promises are extended for those who obey this Biblical commandment? It seems to be a direct criterion for good health and happiness, yet so often is ignored. We wonder why our hearts skip beats, flutter amiss or give up early. Could it be that we are failing to give ourselves essential time for restoration?

Charles E. Cowman, author of the devotional titled Streams in the Desert, wrote, “There is no music in the rest, but there is the making of music in the rest.” What would it be like if instruments in the orchestra sounded with every beat? No doubt discomfort or anxiety would see us walking out before the performance ends.

Could it be prideful attitudes, thinking we are indestructible and indispensable, or lack of trust in the “Conductor” that keeps us from following undisputable directives? Or, a rebellious attitude . . . “I’ll play it my way.”

God loved us so much He gave commands to keep us from running amok. It is actually good self-love when we keep them. However, life without respect for God’s directives brings brokenness, deficits, regrets and guilt! We all are in the same drum kettle. We want to make beautiful music with our lives. Doing so means we must practice good self-care by taking time to listen for what is taking place in our souls.

Being one’s own best friend means we won’t believe the worst about ourselves just because it is easiest. Instead we will weed out those harsh, chastising, guilt-ridden messages that can be prevalent—the negative self-talk—and speak up for our own solid goodness. After all, we are children of God. And, “God don’t make junk,” as one fine author states it.

When we truly begin to get a sense of our own goodness, instead of becoming self-centered (as is easily feared) that love moves outward, evidenced by a strengthened capacity for more earnestly caring about others and even the whole world.

I will never forget a day while driving down McCulloch Avenue, when a thought made a quantum leap into my consciousness. In a momentary awakening, the usual “me first” attitude is replaced by an indescribable sense of oneness. For several moments it seems we all are moving to the beat of One Heart.

I was flooded with the deepest sense of caring never experienced before–an intense desire for all of us to arrive on time, whatever the place or the cause, filled my thoughts. Since then, a truth is becoming apparent: The more I love myself, the more capacity there is to love others. Was Jesus trying to tell us this when He said, “Love your neighbor as yourself?”

What if we do the ultimate, by becoming more in tune with “the Director,” intent on following what He called “the first command, “you shall love the Lord our God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength,” Mark 12:20. A love and appreciation of self (and others) could flow, even on McCulloch! Happy Valentine’s Day.