By Joy Le page Smith, MA, BCC
People speak of receiving “a sign” from God. And, some tell of dying, yet arising to verbalize their experience of the Divine, one-on-one. A young man named Stephen shared this astounding story with me. He has allowed his experience of being a former drug addict to be published for the benefit of others:
I was smoking fentanyl in an alley about 2 A.M. That early morning, I died, left the Earth and met Jesus Christ face-to-face. It was almost noon that day when I awakened with a big breathe. No police, no Narco administered, no ambulance involved as I came to life in that alley alone!
As I got up and started walking away scenes from where I had been started crashing into my mind. I was shocked with knowing I had died—and was now breathing and very much alive again! Vivid memories allowed me to see what had happened to me while lying in the alley full of fentanyl: I saw myself awakening in a holding area where a man came for me. He took me into a huge room. There were two open windows. Breezes gently moved the sheer, blue curtains.
A man was standing, looking out one of the windows. Then He turned around and walked over to where I was standing. He looked me in the eyes sternly and shook His head “No.” I fell to the ground and yelled “No! No!” I knew instantly this was Jesus! I realized in that moment I was headed somewhere—FOREVER! And figured it wouldn’t be Heaven! This was a terrible shock. I screamed and fell to the floor weeping like never before. Then I saw the man who had walked me into the room. He was on one knee, kneeling before Jesus. He looked at me and I saw sorrow in his eyes. Jesus had the same look on His face. I felt their love for me. The man helped me to my feet and that’s all I remember.
I can still see Jesus’ face vividly–without even closing my eyes to remember it! We’ve all seen pictures of Jesus. Most of the ones I’ve seen resemble Him, as I saw Him. Some better than others. For me, the drawing of Christ seen in the movie “Heaven is real” represents who I saw.
Stephen told of remembering his Grandfather and how he told him about Jesus as a child and of how his Grandfather always prayed at the table before meals. Stephen said, “I knew about God but had not made any decision as to whether or not that mattered in my life.”
Then due to bad choices and harmful behaviors, I went to prison. That is when I came to know the Lord as my Savior. My life was powerfully changed–and I lived the life of trusting and believing to a point. Then I began slipping back (backsliding this is called) into old behaviors. I started drinking and using drugs.
Before the prison experience I had been using drugs for years. I’ve experienced everything from incarceration, homelessness, overdoses, rehabs, you name it. My parents divorced when I was 5. I had a lot of trauma as a child and I turned to drugs to numb the pain.
Joy asked me, “Why would you smoke fentanyl knowing it could kill you?
I told her because I didn’t care if I died. The pain of living my life the way it was drove me to seek escape.
Good news, here: I went through a recovery program and have been clean for two years. I became involved with a program in Phoenix called New Freedom where I learned about addiction and cognitive behavior. I learned coping skills and things to help me stay sober and to change my behaviors. I am now “Peer Support Certified,” which means I can carry through with my desire to now help others on their journeys to recovery.
What the enemy of my soul meant for evil–God will use for good. I look forward to being able to share my story with others but also to help others within their recovery from drug use.
Once again, Romans 8:28, proves itself to be exceeding true:
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
Author information: Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC, is a Board-certified clinical chaplain. She has authored four books. Readers in up to 32 countries visit Healing-with-Joy.com to read Joy’s blogs. There, readers find hundreds of “helps” for people who are hurting. Also, view her children’s book on her website—free as a YouTube video.
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