Maybe the Apostle Paul “got that,” as he wrote under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, saying, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Certainly, he lived out these words as seen through his remarkable feats. The only difference between Paul and us is that he set out to apply personally everything he heard God saying, living up to his human potential.

In a widely read book, physician Maxwell Maltz estimated that 95 percent of all people in our society feel inferior. Environmental and cultural conditioning have played major roles in the formation of attitudes and feelings which produce low self-esteem. Some, of course, have more difficulty than others, but almost everyone to some degree must cope with this unwholesome condition.

“Why?” might be an appropriate question with this issue, for knowing a cause could allow significant changes, or advantages for future generations. Jess Lair, doctor of psychology and author of I ain’t much, baby—but I’m all I’ve got, brings out an interesting theory regarding the Zulus in South Africa, how their “cups” were filled with love, allowing self-assurance and high personal esteem.

Lair perceives that if you are, “ … born a Zulu, you were nursed at your mother’s breast and carried on your mother’s back with your bare skin against her warm, bare skin for two solid years. You were given more physical contact and more physical love and affection than probably any but a handful of children in American culture get … When his two years were up and a new baby came along, it was time for him to be put down on the ground. Often his cup was still not filled with physical love. But he had lots of kids in his village to love him. Because their cups had been filled, they didn’t hate little kids and weren’t mean to them and angry at them. When this little Zulu child cried because he needed to be carried and held, one of the older children picked him up and held him and carried him around . . . so there was a continuation of physical love and affection from both boys and girls as well as from the mother.”

Obviously, the Zulus did not have an ideal society, but they had a beautiful gift in that the whole tribe acted as “mamoos” and “dadoos” to one another. Each child grew up thinking he/she was beautiful and that belonging to his/her tribe was the greatest of honors. They treasured each other.” 

These people had optimum self-esteem—that is until the plight of their nation became such that they were compelled to move into the cities for survival. There, juvenile delinquency and interpersonal strife developed among their members in just a few decades.

The nurturing seen in the Zulu story is no doubt something we can learn from. But equally important is what we tell children about themselves as they grow – how much effort we take to build their self-esteem.

It is not too late for adults, either. There is much we can do for one another through frequent affirmation of strengths and talents—looking for beauty rather than faults, finding the “treasure” in one another. In so doing, we will not only expand our boundaries, but also those of others.

First, we must come to think highly of ourselves. A beginning step can be taken in noting and identifying all the negative messages we have been telling ourselves. Second, make an assessment of what is good and gifted about our personhood. Third, to begin listening to what God’s Word says about us, taking steps to believe it by replacing our negatives with Truth. In time, feelings of competence, worth and significance will increase, for our feelings follow our thoughts.

One psychologist claims that all personal problems are rooted in lack of self-love. Yet, as long as we entertain self-deprecating dictums allowed to play on and on in our heads, it is hardly possible to love ourselves.

Jesus said, “I came to testify to the truth.”  We are commissioned to follow His example. But wouldn’t it be a good idea to find out the truth about ourselves first?  All we have to lose are those unseen barriers made up of feelings of being powerless, inadequate, and of possessing limited ability.

Then, as Jesus said, the truth will set you free.

A little story told by a friend bears a poignant point.

A man, a self-proclaimed atheist stayed home by the fire on Christmas Eve while his wife attended mass. Idly, he wandered to the window and stared into the darkness, lit softly by moon and snow. A flock of birds pecked about for food around his porch.

Knowing it would be slim pickings he took some bird seed to the front door, sprinkled it about and waited. But, fear forced the birds to keep distance.

Back inside, the man went again to the window. He thought, “Maybe I could sprinkle seed in the garage and open the door. With the light on, they might see the seed, enter, eat and be warm.” But the birds, fearful of such a huge being, could not trust his plan or follow his lead.

Then, caught by enthusiasm, the man thought: “If only I could become a bird! I could lead them easily. They would understand what I want of them; they would no longer be afraid.”

Suddenly, he came face to face with the meaning of Christmas, saying: “This is what God achieved through Jesus.” He realized by becoming human, the Father could have an intimate connection with those whom He loves—even to eat, laugh and dance with them. Most of all, He could teach them His ways and demonstrate His plan.

The simple story of a man who cared for birds displays the longing heart of the One who loves us. It was through sending Jesus that Father God could come to move, walk and talk revealing Himself and His great love.

He told us how to “come in out of the cold,” and enter the kingdom of warmth by giving up our fears, our need to control, our tendencies to manipulate, so that we can accept the righteousness, peace and Joy provided by His spirit. He came to bring us freedom. And He introduced us to the Father by saying, “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.”    

A few months ago, I prayed earnestly to receive a clear concept of this Father who loved us that much. I wanted to comprehend – if only to the smallest degree—something about his personality.

I began an exercise which powerfully opened my eyes. It is one anyone can try. Make a list of the people who have most inspired or helped you in life. The “heroes,” the teachers, closest friends who are vividly ensconced in your memory. Carefully identify the characteristics experienced with each one of these people.

Now, write the characteristics you saw in each one. This can form a portrait—a portrait of the Father, the one who created us. Each of the characteristics, each talent, gift and ability we admire or have benefited from within others was first a part of Him, imparted for the common good of all.

For me, two hours were spent, identifying all the characteristics and giftedness I have ever seen or heard of in any and all who came to mind while working steadily with pen and paper.

It is awesome, trying to envision One Being with all of these attributes while attempting to capture a glimpse of God, the Father of life and love. Imagine it: He is sincere, honest, stable, a master of excellence; He is creative, inventive, ingenuous and resourceful; He is fruitful, productive and diligent; He is enthusiastic, warm and caring; He is witty and musical—able to laugh and treasure intimate moments; He is supportive yet challenging—firm but fair; He is affirming, generous and winsome. These are surely only a few of God’s attributes.

Attempting glimpses of God, can bring the possibility of a new appreciation for every person we encounter. Each one who walks this earth, holds a bit of God’s Self waiting to be discovered. Finding these glimpses of God’s essence in others can become a testament of our His presence within each one of us. Of course, we are not God. Not perfect. Because of this, there are lots of opportunities to do the God-like thing: forgive and continue to love. Scripture declares we are made “in His own image.” We have the great quest of living up to what we know of God—and also through the “glimpses” gained through the people who surround us.