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While attempting to learn more about prayer, I have made a concerted effort to draw from others their perceptions of prayer. I am receiving three types of comments: 1) those claiming prayer to be a challenging, yet rewarding experience; 2) those stating prayer to be too intimate a subject for discussing with others; and 3) those indicating frustrations accompany prayer.

The last two categories seem most prevalent. Two women whom I know well, felt free to tell exactly how they felt about prayer. “I’m afraid to give more of myself to God in prayer,” the first friend said. “He might ask me to do something I’m not ready to do.”

The second friend said, “God doesn’t answer my prayers. So why should I pray?”

Apparently a significant number of people are frustrated with prayer. According to a Barna Research report “over 73% of people say when their prayers seem to be unanswered, the most important reason is because they did not fit God’s plan.

Stop for a moment and let this simple word “prayer” roll over the ridges of your mind. Does it trigger any feelings? Perhaps only positive, peaceful thoughts surface. If so, I admire you. Personally, there were years when prayer presented a dichotomy. On the one hand it brought hope, strength, peace and an awareness of being loved. But on the other hand the mere thought of the word could bring uncertainty, guilt, anger and even fear.

Frustration came with feeling like a simpleton when trying to express myself to a holy, awesome God. It was also frustrating to attempt stilling an active mind—one so undisciplined that in a split second it could be off playing “hop-scotch” with future plans or memories.

Guilt came when I didn’t take time for prayer. Back when the children were still at home, days started like a shot out of a cannon and moved swiftly forward before landing with a thud on my pillow 16-20 hours later. I made good resolutions then felt guilt when I couldn’t keep them.

Inner angst came at the thought of communicating with God at times when I was derailed by mistakes or needled with imperfections.

There was anger in thinking God had failed to hear my prayers. I slammed shut my window to heaven. I recall asking once, “Can’t You do something about the state of things as they are?” Upon truly listening, I heard, “There is something you can do.”

Perhaps that is another reason why prayer can feel frustrating. God often offers challenges, and He has been known to require sacrifice. My first inclination is to escape sacrificing. Yet, on those occasions when obedience rules, indescribable joy follows. A joy that can only come in knowing that a sin-prone human heart has linked for a moment with a holy, limitless, loving God.

Prayer is the pathway to peace. We grow in our ability to savor prayer, knowing the greatest amount of truth about God always lies ahead in our experience of Him. Books written by the “church fathers,” the pioneers of prayer, underscore this. The treasures of truth open up through reading Holy Writ and fellowshipping with other believers, who care and encourage us.

In time, I learned God is the Lover of my soul—mighty and caring. The trust factor escalated, putting “why questions” to rest.

As with the finding of any treasure, there is a price to be paid. A healthy, ongoing relationship with God takes talking with Him day-by-day, drawing on His strength. It is prayer that encourages our souls to make sacrifices and to resist temptations. Through prayer the Holy Spirit nourishes, enriches and transforms us. Wisdom is imparted to our souls as we develop a prayer life that is significant and rich.

The mind will always fight the discipline of being quiet, waiting and giving up control. But on those occasions when the will yields, the soul takes flight like a homing  pigeon and finds itself at home in the heart of Father God.

Prayer takes many forms. It entails communicating our needs and desires; it is praise and thanksgiving; it is intercessions for others; it is often seen in actions; it is that wondrous mystery of contemplation and meditation as we read Scripture. The best of prayer is when we speak spontaneously to God from the heart.

For sure, prayer is restorative and restful. Prayer resolves much pain as we release our fears. Philippians 4:6, shows prayer to be the cure for worry and anxiety. Prayer resolves much pain as we persist in releasing our fears.

Practicing prayer finds us knowing this truth, “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purposes,” (Romans 8:28).

After Dad retired he learned, through a lapidary shop in Scottsdale how to cut, polish and facet stones. And, here was Dad’s treasure stash, fresh work of his hands, yes, but mostly from his heart.

Patiently, he waited as I placed each one on my ring finger before making a decision. It was fun, but serious. Saying “yes” to one excluded all the others.

How many people have had an endearing relationship with their father? We read about this happening for some and occasionally see movies that reinforce this exemplar idea. If this happened for you, congratulations.

My father had many strengths and abilities. I did not, however, find him to be in any way favoring “warm fuzzies.” No. He was all about business. A hard worker. And, certainly, he took good care of his family. Dad loved Scripture and enjoyed sharing his studies with others. Later in life, after all we children were adults, Dad and Mom even did some worldwide ministry.

As for me, I didn’t “jell” so well with him. We were so much alike that he had a hard time figuring me out. Given time, I came to realize the great gift that occurred from the “miss-match” relationship we had. My, not having a rich, warm relationship with my father found me always in search of Father God. And, although I found and loved Jesus first, the ability to commune with Father God has been an amazing journey wherein I truly am in touch by being a cherished daughter of the Father of all.

One of the things I saw in Dad that is impressive was his ability to find a graceful segway into retirement. Dad loved beautiful stones. So, he and Mom spent considerable time in Scottsdale with the best of teachers where he learned to facet stones. He spent the largest part of his last decade of life tumbling opals, polishing and faceting magnificent stones to be set and worn by Mom, his four children, close friends and daughter-in-laws.

I had my turn in choosing a few of Dad’s lovely creations, too, which surely are treasured and will be passed on to other grateful hands in due time. But, on this particular morning, I look again at the jewels he created and think of how much his work with stones is like a writer’s work with words. Words, those ever present entities found kicking along life’s path. Writers pick over and sort through them, and place them in the tumbler of our hearts. Next, we cut and buff, examine and plan, finally setting them in sentences and paragraphs.

Then, when they are shining as best we can make them, we place our offerings in “showcases”—reverently for readers. Our gift. Some will be liked and some won’t, holding power to evoke great emotion, or to get us “stoned” . . . oh, these wondrous things called words.

After meditating on these thoughts this morning, I opened my Bible, a treasured way to stay my day. Romans 3: 23-25, always touches me deeply, “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus.” (Yay! He is at work in me!)

The dictionary shows two applicable meanings for “justified,” 1) “to pronounce free from guilt or blame, and 2) to adjust or arrange exactly.” How clear, the likeness between us and the stones beneath our feet. We, also were covered by “dirt.”  Spotted by God. Picked up and chosen. Incubated in His heart. Now in process—being cut and buffeted as we bounce about upon each other within daily life; God’s jewels in formation. Sure, a long ways from completion, but coming along according to His design.

And, it is not what you think.

Life Hurts. Yes, but believe it or not our bodies have built-in properties that help us with the pain.

Most of us know something about endorphins and have experienced “endorphin flows” through back rubs, soaking baths, exercise. Some even boast of the wonderment of “runners high.” Few realize the truth that our spiritual practices have been identified as key players when it comes to endorphin flows.

The fact we are “engineered” to transcend was discovered by three medical researchers, Dr. Andrew Newberg, Dr. Eugene D’Aquili, and Vince Rause, who shared their findings within a book titled, Why God Won’t Go Away Brain Science & the Biology of Belief.

While using SPECT MRI three medical researchers studied the brain images of people as they prayed or meditated, the doctors became enthralled with their findings. They found that our bodies are tailor-made for specifically helping us rise above what can bring us down in life. Our brains—and our body chemistry—are not only exceedingly affected by what we think, but also by our spiritual practices.

These medical researchers found there is a specific segment of the human brain that lights up “like fireworks” when people pray or meditate. We haven’t thought of endorphins as “opioids.” Still, it is true. When we have put some real time (say 12 or so minutes) into prayer, we are boosted into “the feel good realm.” No cost to it, and no hangover, or cravings to squelch. For some of us this can even happen while reading Scripture. Have you noticed how good it feels to sing, whistle, hum, or listen to music? Also, how blessed it feels during community worship. Think of the “high” times felt so frequently as a believer.

The research of these doctors was not instigated through or founded on any religious beliefs of their own. Their research was specifically based on studying the brain. What seized their attention and amazed them was finding the very location within the human brain that consistently lights up “like fireworks” when a person is in prayer or meditation. Of course, being scientists, a measure is securitized: This “lighting up” takes place at the 12 minute mark.

In 1975, endorphins were identified as a class of endogenous opioids. That means these are generated internally—and best of all, these endorphins have analgesic properties. This takes place through opiate receptors that are built into the human package and get triggered during our most blessed moments.

However, the good part about these endogenous endorphins[1] is—for one, there is no cost involved—and another fantastic benefit comes through the fact no matter how many endorphins your body makes, they do not lead to addiction or dependence—and never cause an overdose.

The National Institute of Health instructs, here, “All opioids, whether produced by the body (endogenously) or taken as a drug, interact through opioid receptors within the brain.”[2] Science confirms these are what relieve pain and trigger a positive feeling much like that of morphine.

Living “the way” that Jesus taught us within the Good News of the four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John), bring amazing ease to the troubles endured while living as a human on earth. It is now scientifically proven that when we persist in communing with God, our brains can bring us into an amazing place of transcendence.

We are marvelously made, as Psalms 139:13-14 assures us: “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

Throughout our days endorphins interact with the opiate receptors in the brain to reduce our anxieties and to ward off depression—acting similarly to drugs such as morphine and codeine.

So, “Wake up Little Susie!” as the song goes [“or Little Sammy”] Pay attention to what brings you joy in life. Is it exercise, relaxation—hot tubbing it?

But, by all means, explore prayer more fully—and follow your heart. Find what activates your body’s natural ability to release endorphins. In this way, you can go for the “joy juice” intended, and provided within your body at birth.

[1]“Endogenous morphine, coined by the morphing of the two descriptive terms into endorphins, are opioid neuropeptides which are naturally produced in the body that serve a primary function as an agent blocking the perception of pain and, additionally, present in cases of pleasure.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470306/#:~:text=Endogenous%20morphine%2C%20coined%20by%20the,present%20in%20cases%20of%20pleasure (Accessed 1-15-21).

[2]https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/how-opioid-drugs-activate-receptors (Accessed 1-15-21).