By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, Board Certified Chaplain

As years slip by, do you feel you are accomplishing what you want in life?

 My next birthday will be here in a couple of days.  The numbers keep growing. Am I living my dream? And what is my dream?

Being a mother of sons who have grown into their destinies, being highly able to love–exceeding able to endure the challenges life rolls onto the screen for them–is one of the greatest accomplishments of  being here on Planet Earth. Being in a gainful marriage for 57 years . . . loving and serving together in adventuresome ways is another.

But the most challenging feat of all lies with seeking to live perpetually comfortable in my own skin. Am I enough? Have I done enough? Why can’t I live without making mistakes? Why, why, why . . .

I have always tried to look my best . . . and believe me, aging takes a whack at that! Big time. So, best laugh about what the mirror is trying to tell me!

Then I think, why did God create me? Probably His best hope is that I keep on loving and helping the ones I love get through this life. Sometimes, I am asked to keep loving while taking some “blows” undeserved. And, sometimes I am the sender of the “blows.” The other day I told my sister, “Don’t be so bossy.” Then I wondered, “How loving is that?”

Perhaps speaking honestly to one-another does more than to help clear the air of our souls. We can, at appropriate times, help each other see our blind spots. Still, I wonder how loving I came across with my sister during that moment.

While journaling, I often talk to God through writing questions then writing what I perceive to hear. Recently, I wrote, “Lord, what is the real purpose you foresaw for us humans when you went to so much trouble to create such a marvelous and beautiful place for us to live and breathe?”

I heard back, “To love and be loved.”

More came as I listened, but this part is for sharing: I am to know that for this time in life it is enough to just be who I am, doing what I enjoy doing—as long as it comes from the love of my heart. Perhaps the best of all we grandmas and grandpas do while still here is to simply  be a living, breathing example, exhibiting huge amounts of patience while dealing with gradual losses—both physically and mentally. After all, the brain shrinks a bit once we get into these higher numbers. There are some memory blips and focusing on ‘what to do next’ gets harder. These changes can be quite unnerving at times and it can be easy to lose our sense of worth. Plus, “Old pappy time” elbows in with the truth that the end is just around the bend.

Ultimately, within the aging process it is a time for opening our hearts more and more fully to God, talking to Him like He is our closest Pal. After all, God knows the “going” is getting tougher—even really tough at times. God is with us in this race against time; but He asks us not to make it a race.

“Cool your jets. Enjoy the time that’s left,” was heard while listening last week.

Why should we be afraid to listen to the Author of Love whose Holy Spirit abides and is with us everywhere we go?

“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

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Healing-with-Joy.com — VIEW FREE– – Joy’s children’s book titled: The Little Mountain Goat Who Was Afraid of High Places.

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Last Friday morning as thirty-some balloons filled the sky on my drive to work I was awestruck. I felt my heart arise with them. Then while on the job with a grieving family, I asked, “Have you gone outside to see the balloons. Immediately, the “yes” of this family showed clearly that they had felt what I had felt in seeing many balloons fill the sky that early morning. Changes in their words, tone of voices and their eyes said it all. They, too, had felt their hearts uplifted at the sight of the seemingly motionless, splendor of the balloons.

Last Friday morning as thirty-some balloons filled the sky on my drive to work I was awestruck. I felt my heart arise with them. Then while on the job with a grieving family, I asked, “Have you gone outside to see the balloons. Immediately, the “yes” of this family showed clearly that they had felt what I had felt in seeing many balloons fill the sky that early morning. Changes in their words, tone of voices and their eyes said it all. They, too, had felt their hearts uplifted at the sight of the seemingly motionless, splendor of the balloons.

For many of us, prayer lifts our hearts above the fears, dreads and deficits–the disappointments–that come as we do our days within the COVID experience. Shortages remind us “it is real.” We can’t deny it. The Psalmist wrote in Psalm 55:6, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.”

Then, in verse 16, the tone changes as David exclaims,” As for me, I will call upon God, and the Lord shall save me. Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice.”

His prayer of lament continues, then David arises in his spirit as he writes for others what he has found to be true for himself, “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.”

No matter what happens in our bodies—and no matter how many changes we must endure, we were created to transcend. Our spirits are meant to arise above it all as we realize that meaning and purpose hold a hiding place for our souls.

We are loving beings. As we love we transcend. We “go up” in our hearts like the balloons. Even a few minutes of counting our blessings and thanking God for each of them sees us arise in our spirits. Seeing a new born baby does it for us, too. We are reminded of the gift of life and how precious it is.

Life is such a mystery! We come into this earth experience not knowing how long we will have, here. So, we set our minds on living long, into old age. Then when it doesn’t work that way for a loved one—or when we are told by our doctor “it could end soon” the bottom falls out for our hopes, our dreams. Reality hits like a sucker-punch in the gut.

Sometimes we are like the Psalmist. When times get hard we want to “fly away”. . . somehow, we want to “get high”—above it all. There is only one good way. And, that is through prayer.

Andrew Newberg, a medical scientist, wrote, Why God Won’t Go Away along with two other scientists. Through using SPECT MRI within their research, the results of their efforts revealed what happens physically when we pray or meditate for 12 minutes. (Yes, of course. Scientists measure everything!) These medical researchers demonstrate how there is a specific place within the brain that lights up “like fireworks” while the subjects they study are praying.

 A front page newspaper headline recently read, “Piloting a balloon is an ‘art.’” Prayer is also an art form. It takes setting a time and preparing a place to be alone with God—expecting to quiet our minds, talk to God—and listen. Then, when we do hear words in our hearts from Him, it is important to write them down.

Prayer helps us learn how to give our burdens to God so we can let go our fears and take on His peace. Reading Scripture tells us a lot about God and what His hopes are for us. When we make a practice of this, worshiping God comes natural as we learn of God’s great love for us. God’s presence in our lives enriches us. Though prayer, we learn to trust His guidance—and, much joy comes into our lives. We were made to transcend. Joy and transcendence go together.

The beauty of the balloons reminds me of the meaning and purpose God held for us while creating us. As, we were intended to be in relationship with Him. Adam and Eve walked and talked with God, as shown in the Book of Genesis. Within our days on earth, we can do so, as well.

We are made to love: God, self and others. As we embrace His purpose for us, we live meaningfully. While praying our way through our difficulties—we live ABOVE IT ALL.

Gabriel Faure’s Requiem Opus 48, bespeaks of rest and consolation that comes to us in death. Thanks be to God, we can also have it as we live out this life!

By Joy Le page Smith, MA, BCC

A parent’s early messages such as “Come down off your high horse,” and “Don’t get too big for your britches,” can carry excess weight. For sure, siblings can be “good” at deflating one’s developing ego through daunting retorts.

Unfortunately, we are most readily prone to see and accept our perceived limitations. We deny or minify the fine, beautiful facets of our natures, thus failing to value the down to earth, home spun side of ourselves. Or, we could think of one’s self as strong, power-filled—and of great worth . . . a creature of tremendous beauty, or “Mr Atlas” with a brain to be admired?” imagine what could happen if that became a daily “mantra?”

After all, we gain empowerment by focusing on our gifts and our strengths rather than our weaknesses.

And, who is going to stand up for our strengths unless we see and find them in ourselves?

Our ego is the aspect of personality that mediates between environmental demands, conscience, and instinctual needs to provide themselves with positive inner feedback. Unfortunately, many children grow up without much strength in their egos, which sees them grow up with more negativism about themselves than self-assurance.

This lays ground for developing beliefs like, “Life is hard, something to be endured,” and “It’s every man for himself; do everything you can to reach the top of the heap.” Such messages about the meaning and purpose of life are crippling.

Recalling, here, words of Scott Peck, MD, in The Road Less Traveled. He saw how grace plays a role in the formation of a human being. Without the grace of God, many with fragile, wounded egos would have perished along the way. Fortunately, God gets involved. Every time our Creator finds us in even the slightest listening stance He wants us to know we have a lot to offer—and that life is an exciting adventure, meant to be enjoyed. We are meant to explore and find meaningful service, making our own path “a road less traveled,” while on this journey of life on earth.

John Powell, S.J., in Fully Human Fully Alive, writes of the importance of correcting our “life vision,” replacing misconceptions of reality formed in early stages of growth. It takes work, but we are up for it.

Powell writes that identifying the misconceptions that affect our view of life takes place when we follow negative emotions back to their source.  Ask, “What basic belief lies behind the feeling I am having?” Honestly facing our true inner moorings means we resist thoughts like, “I shouldn’t feel this way.” Otherwise, the tendency to gulp down our feelings is pervasive and doing so, long-term, can make us sick.

It takes valuing one’s self to develop the best self-esteem we can muster. Otherwise we hobble through life pretending we don’t feel hurt when we do, wearing masks portraying what we want others to believe about us. Having confidence in ourselves and who we are, does not come easily but it pays off hugely!

God wants to help us figure out who we really are. He speaks to us through nature, through people, dreams, events, and especially through Scripture.  Like in Joshua 9:1, “Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

He “speaks,” too, in the quietness of a stilled mind. Mostly what comes is a sense of being accompanied. There is a sweetness and softness as words are at times “heard.” Words like, “You are fine; you are mine. There is a purpose . . . a plan. Let me lead. I’ve got your hand.”

These are the messages that allow us to feel accompanied in life—and it becomes an exciting adventure. When we place our trust in Him, God brings understanding into the tragedies and the pain, which makes us stretch and grow. Our part is to leave spaces in life for reflection, solitude, silence. And, then to receive, and believe.

Through this process, the Master Teacher enables us to enter into true humility, where we honestly accept our strengths and our goodness, alongside our weaknesses.

God’s purpose is to bring us into wholeness, solidly into seeing—and believing—God is available, desiring to accompany us in this journey on earth. This makes it possible to become what Saint Irenaeus of the second century claimed, “The glory of God is a human being fully alive.”

Oh, that we might listen and learn all that the Master has to teach us.”