Why do the work it takes to forgive?

1. We begin to feel better, as we have less emotional pain to manage in our daily lives.
2. Our relationships have potential to change.
3. We physically release the toxicity that builds up in our cells due to emotional anguish. Hurt, sadness, fear, anger, and bitterness held within does, over time, affect our health. Forgiving ourselves for our mistakes and our poor choices releases the guilt that can do a nasty number on our health.
4. We feel the “atta girl” or “atta boy” over doing what God asks of us. This places us in the Creator’s will and brings a satisfying feeling to our souls. This emotion promotes health: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Points to consider as regards forgiving

1. Some people think forgiving shows weakness. The opposite is true. It takes a great deal of strength to forgive some people.  And, it takes considerable determination and strength to forgive some things that have happened to us.
2. People often think forgiving means they are condoning bad, hurtful, or spiteful behaviors. The truth is that forgiving a person does not mean the behavior is accepted; not at all. To forgive is to release your soul from the difficult emotions that result when you are hurt or harmed.  It means you let God be God.  This frees God to work on the person or people involved, especially when you pray for them.  Jesus taught not only to forgive, but also to pray for our enemies.  To forgive means setting yourself free of emotional bondage.
3. Forgiving is a process. Initially, we set our will to forgive. Later, when old memories surface, or something current reminds us of what happened in the past, we deal with the feelings of hurt, anger, and fear that arise.  This takes getting clear about what is at the base of the feelings.  Then we tell God, “I give you these emotions.  I release them to you.  I have forgiven this.”  The process takes as long as it takes.  We have to be patient with ourselves, doing the work as many times as it becomes necessary.
4. The grace of God fills the soul of a person who determines to forgive all that has hurt or harmed him or her. This brings to us “the peace that passes understanding.” Aside from living in God’s will, nothing else in life can bring this level of peace.  We accept God’s peace, even when we cannot understand that peace can exist within difficult circumstances.
5. We are not asked to forgive others because God demands obedience. God asks us to forgive others, even our enemies, because we are loved. God wants us to have the best possible life!

The bottom line as regards forgiveness

To have the ultimate in life, means we will seek to live in the kingdom of God.  Ours is a spiritual kingdom that Jesus brought to us through His teachings.  This kingdom presents a very different way of living from the way usually seen within the world.  The kingdom of God is all about loving and being loved.  It is about being led by a heart filled with God’s Holy Spirit.  This state-of-being sees us doing good for our families, and finding ways to serve others through using our gifts, our talents.  While making the lives of others better, we are benefiting as well.  The joy of the Lord becomes a growing entity in our souls!

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The above website holds many additional articles by Joy Le Page Smith for finding help with spiritual and emotional pain.

We arrive on earth as a small tenuous life force. We grow, develop and learn. We experience. We laugh. We cry. And, eventually we die.

How long we get to be here is undeterminable which makes life all the more valuable. It is a mystery, one we cannot solve on our own.

But, what about the legacy we leave: Is it what we accumulate? Is it about making money—or gaining praise? Or, is it about being “on top,” holding control, having power?

Some seem geared primarily to think “be happy, have fun.”  Yet, there is something much greater than all else we do in life. There is an “ultimate purpose” for our being here.

The result of our being here will have to do with what we bestow upon others . . . how we have treated others. This is how we will be remembered once we leave this turf called earth. We can only make this world better through our outreach to others. It is called “love” in action—and God is love. He can help us become lovers of others in the greatest and best sense.

Some of my favorite authors have glimpsed eternity while here, granting them empowerment to bring into the world a paragon of virtue for making life better for others—and consequently for ourselves. Mostly this has come to them through reading Scripture, catching the vision of what God’s intention is and was and ever will be.

Aren’t we happiest when we have purpose and meaningful work? The garden He made for us calls for work. How we treat it is of ultimate importance. We either love the earth while we are here—or we treat it as “dirt.” Being a good friend to the earth and sharing ourselves in beneficial ways, blesses us and blesses others. What we do, here, does not have to be done “in a big way.” Treating the earth and each other with kindness and care—in small ways—is enough.

Due to the fall of human kind, described so clearly in the Book of Genesis, it is obvious that we are “sent here” to learn through our experiences. We make mistakes and our mistakes become our best teachers. Obedience to what God wants makes everything better. The essence of life calls for the blessedness of sacrificing . . . alongside granting and receiving forgiveness.

Life often is a struggle. But in surmounting the struggles—staying in the process of gaining ground—we experience joy and we grow in strength. Scripture says that the fruits of the spirit include love, peace and joy. Yet, these can only come when we step out in faith, saying, “God, you take the controls. Lead me. Guide me.”

The Bible portrays a picture of us becoming sons and daughters of God and that we are headed for the fullness of love when we leave this earth. It is there, or so it is said, that we will see our whole lives flash before us. We will then see the good of it and most likely also see what we will wish we had done differently.

And, Jesus will wipe away all tears.

There are two passages that show Jesus’ words most succinctly, “Jesus wept.” And, while hanging on the cross, He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Jesus portrayed the ultimate level of loving by the way He lived His 33 years on earth—and by how He died. His entire life was about sacrifice and He laid down His life in love.

”This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends,” (John 15:12-13). We can lay down our lives for others in different ways.

We become children of God when we hear the “knock” on our hearts door and say to God, “Come in.” It is our Lord who stands there waiting. And, our repentance brings to us a clean slate . . . new life. Born anew in Spirit and truth. God is a loving Father who wants His children, to be seated at “the banqueting table” in heaven.

Clearly, the mystery is perceived when we look to Holy Writ: We are given the gift of life for the purpose of coming to know our Creator, Father God, and to receive His truth while growing in our ability to be like Him . . . loving all that He has created.                                                                  By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

Visit my homepage which offers a large number of  “helps” for people who hurt. www.healinglifespain.com