Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

The following will help you know why billions of people–those of the past and of those of the present–trust the Scriptures, using them as a guide for their lives.

For instance, the Bible has 66 books written by approximately 40 men. These authors lived in numerous places over a 1500 year course of history with varied backgrounds: one was a physician, another was a priest—and one was a tax collector.  King David of Israel wrote much of the book of Psalms. Several were prophets correcting and guiding the people through their books within the Bible. Peter, a disciple of Jesus, wrote the book of Acts. He was a major player throughout the New Testament, alongside ten other disciples who authored numerous Biblical books.

 Aside from the Bible being penned by different authors over 15 centuries, its multiple books of holy inspiration hold no contradictions. Imagine that, along with the fact no errors can be found in any of the Biblical books.

Each author presented different angles and assessments, but they all proclaim the same truths about there being one God. Plus, the ultimate message totally supports the fact God has expectations of us while also being helpful, merciful, forgiving and loving.  

 The Bible shows many truths about us, our lives and what is to come. And, here is what we see about God: We humans are comprised of one person with three parts: body, mind, spirit.

Believers recognize this truth about God: Our Creator has a vastness beyond us as Jesus was both one with Father God and one with the Holy Spirit. So God is three persons in One. The term used to describe the Son, Father and Holy Spirit (three-in- One) is “the Trinity.”

The Holy Spirit of Jesus and the Father–through the power of the Holy Spirit–breathed the truth into the minds and hearts of writers recorded in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. That is why the Bible is believed to be “the Word of God.”

The ultimate proof that the Bible is God’s authentic message to humankind comes from the explicate fact that it changes lives powerfully and wondrously. Ask people you know who are Christians, “How did you come to believe in Jesus Christ being the Savior of the world, the Son of God?” You will hear some amazing and absolutely awesome stories.

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed [are those] that trust in him,” (Psalms 34:8).

About the author: Joy Le Page Smith is a Board certified clinical chaplain. Her articles and blogs are read in up to 32 countries. Joy’s four books are available on her home page at Healing-with-Joy.com where readers can view FREE her children’s book titled, The Little Mountain Goat Who Was Afraid of High Places.

Maybe the Apostle Paul “got that,” as he wrote under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, saying, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Certainly, he lived out these words as seen through his remarkable feats. The only difference between Paul and us is that he set out to apply personally everything he heard God saying, living up to his human potential.

In a widely read book, physician Maxwell Maltz estimated that 95 percent of all people in our society feel inferior. Environmental and cultural conditioning have played major roles in the formation of attitudes and feelings which produce low self-esteem. Some, of course, have more difficulty than others, but almost everyone to some degree must cope with this unwholesome condition.

“Why?” might be an appropriate question with this issue, for knowing a cause could allow significant changes, or advantages for future generations. Jess Lair, doctor of psychology and author of I ain’t much, baby—but I’m all I’ve got, brings out an interesting theory regarding the Zulus in South Africa, how their “cups” were filled with love, allowing self-assurance and high personal esteem.

Lair perceives that if you are, “ … born a Zulu, you were nursed at your mother’s breast and carried on your mother’s back with your bare skin against her warm, bare skin for two solid years. You were given more physical contact and more physical love and affection than probably any but a handful of children in American culture get … When his two years were up and a new baby came along, it was time for him to be put down on the ground. Often his cup was still not filled with physical love. But he had lots of kids in his village to love him. Because their cups had been filled, they didn’t hate little kids and weren’t mean to them and angry at them. When this little Zulu child cried because he needed to be carried and held, one of the older children picked him up and held him and carried him around . . . so there was a continuation of physical love and affection from both boys and girls as well as from the mother.”

Obviously, the Zulus did not have an ideal society, but they had a beautiful gift in that the whole tribe acted as “mamoos” and “dadoos” to one another. Each child grew up thinking he/she was beautiful and that belonging to his/her tribe was the greatest of honors. They treasured each other.” 

These people had optimum self-esteem—that is until the plight of their nation became such that they were compelled to move into the cities for survival. There, juvenile delinquency and interpersonal strife developed among their members in just a few decades.

The nurturing seen in the Zulu story is no doubt something we can learn from. But equally important is what we tell children about themselves as they grow – how much effort we take to build their self-esteem.

It is not too late for adults, either. There is much we can do for one another through frequent affirmation of strengths and talents—looking for beauty rather than faults, finding the “treasure” in one another. In so doing, we will not only expand our boundaries, but also those of others.

First, we must come to think highly of ourselves. A beginning step can be taken in noting and identifying all the negative messages we have been telling ourselves. Second, make an assessment of what is good and gifted about our personhood. Third, to begin listening to what God’s Word says about us, taking steps to believe it by replacing our negatives with Truth. In time, feelings of competence, worth and significance will increase, for our feelings follow our thoughts.

One psychologist claims that all personal problems are rooted in lack of self-love. Yet, as long as we entertain self-deprecating dictums allowed to play on and on in our heads, it is hardly possible to love ourselves.

Jesus said, “I came to testify to the truth.”  We are commissioned to follow His example. But wouldn’t it be a good idea to find out the truth about ourselves first?  All we have to lose are those unseen barriers made up of feelings of being powerless, inadequate, and of possessing limited ability.

Then, as Jesus said, the truth will set you free.

We want extraordinary things to happen in life. Sometimes it just takes a quick story or a joke to give us that chemical change we need. And, “yes” when our emotions move into that sweet range of joy, hope, even surprise (which excites us) our physiology changes.[1]

The other day Bill Gates read one of my website blogs and responded. The surprise of that gave me a lift! My push to get through what was demanding to be done before the end of the day was forgotten while pondering his comment, “Very good feedback. Wondering what you think of its implication on society as a whole, though?”

My first thought was “right!” That’s going to happen! Bill Gates, reading me? Yet, whoever this “Bill Gates” is, this is a person wanting to know my thoughts as regards the world at large. What an honor.

His observation included a reference to “things that can have global expansion, bringing frustration.” He ended with “I’ll be around soon to check out your response.”

Hmmm. Now I’m thinking “maybe Bill Gates,” as my website outreach has become rather wide. (I’m using Google translate, now, to understand messages coming from other countries.)

My follow-up thought was, OK, this guy cares. He might be Bill Gates, or an average guy who invests himself more than most in “what could make a better world.”

Let’s get real. It is not a person’s name that gives him or her value and credibility. It’s not even how much success has come to a person, or how much money is in a bank. Every person on the globe has innate value and deserves to be cared about and respected. Everybody has a story even if it doesn’t rock the world digitally, or shake the boat we tie up by the lake. Based on that truth, I decided to write a blog specific to Bill Gate’s inquiry.

First, I need to decide which direction to go as I covered a lot in the column, titled, “My dream for the New Year,” to which Mr. Gates responded. Was the point “pursuing patience by living in the moment” what he picked up on? Or was it, “valuing elderly folks in our society, listening to their stories?” Yet, could it be my reference to “being content with discovering pleasure in the commonplace?” No, I think this Bill Gates picked up on something from a poem by William Wordsworth, an English poet (1770-1850) that the website blog included:

“I heard a thousand blended notes, while in a grove I sat reclined, in that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts bring sad thoughts to the mind.

“To her fair works did Nature link the human soul that through me ran; and much it grieved my heart to think what man has made of man.”

For sure it is great to enjoy the good things we make happen—to build families, and/or put our talents to work. Still, alongside that we must think also about what we have done to one another—and to our earth that shouts “Let’s revisit this! Let’s make amends.”

In Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms, David Kessler wrote, “maturity is when you accept the fact that two contradictory ideas can exist together.” His example was “community service can be a selfless and generous act, or it can be used for self-aggrandizement.”[2]

The most immanent contradiction is that this world is beautiful and “life is great.” And, equally present is a truth that does create frustration (even fear): the entire ecosphere seems to be “going to hell in a handbasket,” given all the shootings and the chaos here at home, as well as around the globe. “Wars and rumors of wars,” is what Scripture prophecies for the “last days.”

How can we maturely work with this?

The answers are in “the Book”—the Bible—for any who will look (and see), ponder and place trust. Two quick examples, Psalms 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God . . . I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalms 46:10). And, Colossians 3:2, grants a directive for good mental health, “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth . . . . Verse 15 of that passage concludes, “. . . let the peace of God rule in your hearts to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.”

What God really wants of us is to, “love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and your neighbor as yourself.” This would be the ultimate in maturity. No frustration, here, Mr. Gates, for those advanced enough to see this truth and to live it out.

There is only one possibility in which Jesus’ teachings (which He called “the way”[3]) could bring frustration within society. That can happen when people claim to follow Christ’s teachings, yet fail to let God’s inerrant assurance change their lives. Clearly, it is an individual’s choice. Each can decide whether to follow his or her egocentric behaviors and philosophies allowing these to hold sway, or dedicate oneself to living by God’s Word.

It is this belief in God and the Bible (His Word) that holds the power to change lives and bring the maturity we as human beings so badly need. These tenets, when lived out, serve to powerfully motivate us, creating the actions needed to eliminate what underlies human sufferings: hatred, poverty, tyranny and war (at home and globally.)

Truth be known—meaning if God’s Word is fully lived out—we can have peace on earth and good for all. But, 2nd Peter 3:3-4, does not extend hope for that, saying, “Scoffers will come in the last days, walking according to their own lusts and saying, ‘Where is the promise of His coming?’” Verse 9, assures us, “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” The ultimate in peace and good will certainly will be ours when Jesus Christ returns to the earth fulfilling His promise to come a second time. I, for sure, want to be living by His Word (the Bible) and ready for His coming, which is so vividly promised in Scripture.

[1]This truth comes from a field of medicine called psychoneuroimmunology (PNI).

[2]Kessler, David, Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms, Hay House, Inc., Kindle version. (New York: NY, 2010, (Kindle version, location #319.)

[3] Jesus called His teachings “the way.” It is not “a religion,” but following “the way” Jesus taught is our response. The American Heritage Dictionary defines “religion” as, “The expression of man’s belief in and reverence for a superhuman power recognized as the creator and governor of the universe.” Most people who say, “I am not religious,” are unclear. They do not have a clear understanding of the word . . . maybe have not taken time to truly think about “religion,” rather would like to not think about their need to show appreciation by  saying “thanks” for this life. That is prayer . . . the beginning of a “walk with God.”

In 1662, Basil Pascal, a French mathematician, physicist, inventor, philosopher, theologian, wrote, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing, but only by God the Creator made known through Jesus Christ.”

Forget all you have ever heard about Jesus Christ. Now read for yourself the words below that have filled the empty space for billions of souls. For this alone can replace the emptiness:

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me,” (Revelations 3:20).

“Come unto Me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light,” (Matthew 11:28 through 30).

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord, though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool,” (Isaiah 1:18).

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones.” (Proverbs 3:5- 8).

“For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call on Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found of you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity,” (Jeremiah 29:11-1).

Isaiah, one of the greatest of the Old Testament prophets wrote this of God, “You will keep him in perfect peace. Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength,” (Isaiah 26:3-4).

“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In my Father’s house there are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know,” (John 14: 1-4).

The disciple Thomas said, “Lord, we do not know where you are going, and how can we know the way? Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father except through me,’” (John 14:1-6).

Now, reach for a Bible; read the Book of John, paying particular interest to Chapter 3, verses 16-17 and Chapter 14, verses 22-27.

The Holy Spirit of Jesus be with you!

“Now, this is entirely off the subject,” she said (clever woman that she was), “but a few weeks ago I was looking forward to taking Pola to the dog show in Richmond.  First, I was hoping I would get the weekend off so we could go. Next, I was hoping lots of dogs would be present, making the event a major competition. Then, I hoped a certain handler would be there to show her. And, two days before we were to leave, Pola got pneumonia and I was hoping she would live.”

How intense we are about our daily incidentals, when, in truth, in just a few moments life can slip crazily out of kilter and leave us hanging by a mere thread. This is a sure way for priorities to be set straight, suddenly, and it’s obviously humbling.

This has been the pattern of my life. Everything goes fairly smooth for a period of time, then “oops,” some downtime for a medical emergency.  I have come to think of it as living on the ragged edge, a bit dangerous place to walk, but, oh, the view.

Birthdays become something more than celebrations, taking on nebulous auras, something like holiness. Little things, like shiny green beetles found on a hillside path, rain drops, and everyday moments don’t simply plod, plop and prod. Instead, they dance in the awareness of their “thereness.”

Strange how going without food for a few days promptly accentuates its importance. And, full appreciation for the hidden workings of the magnificent machine we call “car” springs forth when it no longer works to carry us about. These are times when the four-lettered word “body” gets vigorous attention.

King David of ancient Israel must have had a similar experience as we are all familiar with his eloquent prayer:

“You have searched me, Lord, and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways . . . For You created my inmost being;

You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are Your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!” (Psalms. 139:13-17).

Funny little creatures we are, doing much as we please to our bodies, often failing to give them what they need. But let them break down or simply fail us in the smallest way, and we become indignantly alarmed, frustrated, angry, maybe even sullen.  A sign of pride?

Imagine being made of the dust of the earth, yet described as being “a little lower than the angels . . . crowned with glory and honor” (Psalm 8:5). And what a crown, that human brain. Our plans, ideas and imaginings can give us quite a high. Yet how humbling is the truth that in the twinkling of an eye we can be called forth into eternal reality for a little chat with God – no cars, clothes or cash to lean on. Naked, this little hunk of dust.

Humbling as this line of thought might be, let us balance it by remembering that what we do here on earth can and does hold importance. We are significant beings, called and chosen. The short time we have here brings forth either blessings or cursings.

To quote Robert Penn Warren, author of “All the King’s Men, “It all depends on what we do with the dirt.”

Two appaloosa colts ran about ever so carefree in my father’s pasture. They were beautiful and Dad seemed to have done a good job with them. I recall, here, what my father said back then, while still alive and working in his corral:

“You know those colts of mine?  While watching them the other day, I realized the relationship between my belonging to God and those horses belonging to me.

“I am responsible for those horses. I bought them, paid for them. Put them in my pasture. I irrigate that pasture, bring in hay, mend the fences, and meet all their needs. And, I know if I am going to use those horses, I will have to train them. ”

Dad said, “This is the way it is with God. He has bought us with the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ.  Now, if we truly trust in His redemption—act as if we belong to Him, obey His commands—He will take care of our every need. He will even be able to prepare us for His use.”

The conversation with Dad was relevant to the circumstances in Gary’s and my life at that time. Gary had just lost his job. After working as a ticket agent for Greyhound since age 18 for 26 years. He lost his job, along with all Greyhound station employees; the Boise terminal became a commissioned agency.  

Gary was designated as the commissioned agent to operate the terminal going forward. I helped with a few light duties; so the two of us worked arduously during the following seven weeks. However, after 26 years with Greyhound, Gary decided 12-16 hour days seven days a week was too much.

We could not envision living our lives that way, so we paid our bills, said our “goodbyes” and closed the book on Greyhound. At age 44, Gary began doing the college scene “with a six-pack of Geritol.” For the next four years he was a fulltime student at Boise State University studying in the field of radiology.

Having a paycheck all those years was a bit addicting. And, while grappling with readjusting, I remembered Dad’s words, “If we really belong to God—I mean really belong to Him, and are giving Him what He paid for—we are His responsibility and not our own.”

Psalm 91 speaks of dwelling in a place of trust, “abiding in the shelter of the Almighty,” a place of total dependence on a Master who provides and protects. These are words we have read often, yet can be more readily embraced and understood once our will becomes aligned with the will of our Master. It is like when the gate is down . . . work done . . . and whistling is heard. New pastures become known.

We are creatures of comfort and unless God allows some pressure to be applied we do not grow. Unlike the ponies in Dad’s pasture, we are made in the likeness and image of God, called and chosen, charted for a course to become the mature children of God spoken of in John 1:12.

About the time we settle in, thinking we have gained some ground, our faith is tested and often found wanting.

The Apostle Paul described believers as being changed, “From glory to glory,” through the trials of life. We become more patient, more humble and malleable. As we turn our angst and uncertainty over to Him, our Heavenly Father turns it all to gain. We are trusted; chosen for training and equipping—soon to serve others.

He is looking for our total trust. Otherwise, why would this be the most repeated command of Scripture, “Do not be afraid,” and the most frequent promise, “I will be with you”?

Father, help me to really trust you. Teach me Your ways. Grant me the grace to follow Your will rather than to jump fences, kick up my heels and go my own willful way.

 “We need to tighten the belt, here.” Belt? His words bring to mind the fact I have gained a few pounds—and I need to buy a new pair of jeans.

Always a writer, the following thoughts, recorded back then, were found today in my jammed-packed files:

“Making money stretch seems impossible. The car suddenly needs repairs, a wisdom tooth decides to raise its ugly head, and an insurance premium is due.  It feels like the bills rule, here. 

“I just yelled at my teenager for leaving the front door wide open, cooling the entire house. Dollar signs are seen in red. Then, when asked to drive nine miles out of my way to take a kid home who had stayed overnight, the needle on the gas gauge seems 10 foot tall.

“Good Friday finds me less than in a prayerful mood. Discouragement has come to spend the day. It’s best I stop everything, read some Scriptures and pray. But now, to pick up the phone to stop the ringing.

“It’s my friend, reminding me of this being Good Friday.

 ‘Listen to this,’ she says,’ I found three Scripture for starting this amazing day.’ (She sleeps late.)

“I didn’t hear the second passage or the third, as the first verse struck a bullseye: “The wages of sin are death, but the free gift of God is eternal life.” Yes, everything seems to cost. Expenses do win, sometimes, when push comes to shove. But here, in one short verse I see the Truth. The greatest of all gifts a believer ever receives is the gift of eternal life—and it’s free! Given without a single fee—and tax free! There, simply to be cherished and received.”

Yes. This day we call “Good Friday,” allows us to once again rejoice in what Jesus, our Lord, has done for us. His destiny was known to Him. In a brutal process of being questioned and “tried,” Jesus was given the opportunity to defend Himself before Herod Antipater, ruler of Galilee, and then by Pilate, procurator of Judea. With both, Jesus chose not to protect Himself. He knew by laying down His life for us He would become our Redeemer.

All who ask for forgiveness from sin receive His merciful touch on our lives. Restoration, lasting peace, joy and righteous living result.

Jesus said to look at the way the birds are cared for and to observe how beautifully the flowers are clothed. He promised to provide for us as we learn to trust. Sometimes, I think He looks at me and says, “Hey, you of little faith….” But, there is a smile on His face. Love is felt. When I truly seek to comprehend—it is God’s Holy Spirit living within. Following His lead will see every genuine need is met.

It is easy to become so filled with the temporal—what’s going on every day of our lives—that we cannot “see the Divine.” Yes, there will always be bills, maybe more than can be paid. But fear, frustration and anxiety need not rob us of the peace intended, once we realize how loved we are.

Surely all the little creature comforts and all the things I think are needed will continue to take their hits, but God help me to remember all that is free: sunshine’s warmth . . . a child’s smile .. . a good night’s sleep . . . the love of another . . . my very heartbeat. But the best is yet to come. Eternal life. All because one Good Friday, many lifetimes ago Jesus embraced the pain, the sorrow, the desolation and chose the cross. All because of us—and what we really need: peace and joy in the truth that the Lord Jesus has done so much for us. Undoubtedly, He is going to bring us through!  

Many things spoke of the Power and Presence of God. The hardness of marble altars, stone floors and wooden pews spoke of strength. Then I looked at the people. They were soft. Vessels of earthen clay, yet filled with spirit.

Many shy away from being called “soft.” But the softness I saw was holy. That which makes us vulnerable, malleable and capable of love.

Back home this truth was clearly seen when I visited the home of friends who had just lost their 24-year-old son in death. Neighbors, family and friends from their parish came, some with arms loaded with food. Many offered prayers from caring hearts. And as they left each carried away a piece of the pain. So much pain to be borne there in that home. Yet the grieving family knew through the people that they would not be bearing this alone. The softness of human love was leaving its impact, as love in action extends strength.

At times like this we often feel inept. Words may seem inadequate. But what we do have to give is enough. That is empathy, wrapped in flesh. When we are weak, then we are strong. The Apostle Paul exhibited that throughout the letters he left for believers who would follow “the way,” which Christ revealed to him.

When we see a fellow human hurting, something incredible occurs. There is an urging within to stop—set aside what we are doing—and go. “Be there.” It is love in action, coming from the treasure of one’s heart. Tears convey release, as solace is received.  Such “holy water” grants clear vision that this love, as it flows from others, is a healing force.

We all endure grievous trials during this life? 1 Peter 1:7, portrays how it is through these hardships that our faith comes forth “much more precious than gold that is tested by fire.” So, there is a refinement process and if we yield ourselves to it, enrichment results. And, God is praised.

While alongside my friends, I saw no anger or resentment. No bitterness spouted, although these dear people had lost another son a mere 13 months before. God is their ally, not their foe. And because of this, peace reigns in their home. Philippians 4:7, refers to this as “a peace of God which passes all understanding that guards our hearts through Christ Jesus.”

So here we are as humans, ideally all “soft covers”—no “hardbacks.” Fragile, destined for much wear and tear. Yet durable beyond comprehension. Filled with strength, having quite enough to share.

People. Earth’s richest resource. Vessels deemed worthy by God to carry His love. A love experienced most vividly when seen flowing from one to another. Oh, holy ones of God, we belong to each other.

Thank God for our hearts of flesh, capable of expanding, stretching, growing—even at the risk of breaking. Yet it is in the breaking that we are formed afresh. As Christ’s body, broken in the Eucharist and given away for the nourishment of many, we live on loving life and one another. The “breakings” do come, challenging our souls and in the end, what is remembered is that faith does hold strong when we depend on the power of the Spirit. This is what makes us more than flesh . . . And able to live forever.

Carol explored various religions, yet said, “None fit the bill for me.”  She liked believing only in what she could solidly see, touch, taste and smell . . . along with what she felt in her heart.  So I simply shared the journey with her, offering prayer at points, which she did not oppose. For sure, praying helped me, in my determining to “walk alongside” my friend on this, her last journey.

Carol loved books and had great interest in researching topics, one of which was cuneiform writing. Discussing these helped occupy her dexterous mind. Pain was present.

We talked on many topics of interest, fairly often agreeing with one another. Disagreements came and went, but failed to slow us down. Carol was “rich”—not monetarily, for sure, but in depth of soul. Much time has passed, yet, I still remember her laughter.

As the end of her days grew closer, Carol showed me the gown in which she wanted to be buried.  She was a grand and beloved person, attending closely to the things in life that triggered her interests. The story of Carol’s last days on earth was published in our hometown daily newspaper, the Idaho Statesman, in Boise, ID. It carried the words of her family members, the hospice staff and mine, revealing how death can be when everyone pulls together while reckoning with the ins and outs of dying.

I was with Carol often those days before her death, even on the evening she left us. She knew acceptance was the key to moving through it. I recall being worried, though, as she decided being an atheist best described what she felt.

Weeks before her leave-taking I gave a note to Carol while sitting at her bedside. It read:

“My dear friend, tuck this away for when you are too curious and must read.

Just in case. Would you please say this little prayer to God?

“God, if there is a heaven and Jesus’ words are true, ‘I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me,’ would You please be there when I die and take me to your home in heaven?

“If I am wrong in not believing and you are there for me—I want to know you, love you and join my friends who have believed. If this comes to be, please have mercy on me and take me in. I just don’t have what it takes to believe. Perhaps you can yet bring it to be?”

Carol read the note immediately, then looked up with a big smile on her face, saying, “Oh, Joy, I have already done that!”

The laugh was on me; but today, I savor that moment.

At a viewing of Carol’s body, I sat alone in the room. Something unusual was felt. It was as if a golden glow filled the room. I thought of concerns that plagued after that last night with Carol . . . now wondering, was I as helpful to her as I could have been? Knowing the Scriptures well, did I share passages with her that could assure her that she would make it to heaven? Was I right in inwardly rejoicing over her response of “having covered that?”

Sometimes our surmising, when heartfelt, are all the guidance we need while seeking to discern something. Still, there were moments while sitting in that room with her body, during which I questioned, “Did I do enough for her?”

It is true, always within grief we experience some elements of guilt.

Many years have passed. Today, I think of the things I learned through relating with Carol. Sometimes relationships don’t end well. And, there, too, we meet with self-doubt.

And how do we work our way through self-doubt? By giving it room, deciding what’s true, and learning what we can from it.

Inside the cover of The Interlinear Bible Hebrew, Greek, English, with which she gifted me, Carol wrote, “Joy, Hope you enjoy this Book. I found your friendship very refreshing. Keep making good choices. Lots of love, Carol. Thank you.”

Within the golden glow sensed I held the essence of Carol and our friendship. My spirit was quickened by a Scripture passage, “Be still and know that I am God.” What a blessing it is to believe God takes us right  where we are. God’s love for us is grand—and knowing this is glorious!