By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA

Artificial Intelligence without a doubt holds considerable concerns. It is not a source for finding truth for one’s life such as Biblical scriptures truly does hold tremendous value. Without a doubt Artificial Information can be helpful. However, it is vitally important to recognize its limits.

In general, if people begin believing they cannot write what they want to say well enough and begin to lean on Artificial Intelligence, a consequence will follow: They will stop doing the thinking it takes to verbalize personal beliefs and statements on paper. This will create mental laziness.

When I write, several drafts are worked before a piece is ready to submit to a publisher. There are levels of mental digging before the best denouement or resolve can be reached. Then the message is ready to send. The old saying, “If you don’t use it, you will lose it” fits.

There are positive ways to use AI for finding information. Without a doubt that is true. But I have discovered that the information gathered by AI will often “resemble a summary or paraphrase of historical events rather than a direct quote from a recognized text or article.” That quote is AI “speaking” within a search I used to identify the “voice” behind these words, “The quotation you provided about George Washington observing Thanksgiving does not appear to be from a specific, verifiable source. It seems to resemble a summary or paraphrase of historical events rather than a direct quote from a recognized text or article.”

I surmise AI does frequently use “surmising.” It is easy to see it has biases. Yet, there are much larger problems to be solved with AI, given time. On the positive side, I have found AI can help with matters like gaining details such as a timeframe for when a quotation was published and authenticating statements made on websites.

Here is an example of what is found about the Bible using Accio (AI), which readily confirms the Bible is still the best-selling book globally:

Response:

“Market Analysis of Bible Sales:

The Bible has consistently been the best-selling book globally, with sales driven by its religious significance, societal anxiety, and targeted marketing. Recent data highlights a 22% surge in U.S. sales through October 2024, reaching 13.7 million copies (up from 9.7 million in 2019). Despite declining religious affiliation among Americans (28% describe themselves as non-religious), first-time buyers—particularly younger generations—account for a significant portion of sales.

Key Drivers of Bible Sales:

1. Anxiety and Uncertainty: Global events like AI advancements, political polarization, and economic instability have fueled demand for spiritual solace.” 2. Social Media Influence: Platforms like TikTok and YouTube have amplified faith-based discussions, with influencers sharing personal journeys. 3. Targeted Marketing: Publishers introduced Bible versions tailored to Gen Z (e.g., graphic novels, journaling editions) and diverse demographics . 4. Physical Book Preference: Despite digital accessibility, 65% of U.S. adults prefer print books for immersive, distraction-free reading.”  (Footnotes were provided, yet do not open here.)”

Yet, while searching to verify a quotation within a website that did not provide that information, I used ACCIO chat. Within chats with this AI it seems, here, to support the truth that what is in the Bible helps people believe with confidence there is a God and that God wants to speak into our lives through the Bible, which prompts prayer. Those who are honestly seeking truth have no problem believing the Bible holds the messages God intended us to use for attaining a healthy, joyful, successful life on earth—plus eternal life with Him in eternity.

GROK, another AI, says, “The Bible is indeed the best-selling book in history (estimates put lifetime sales/print distribution at 5–7 billion copies), but high sales volume alone does not logically prove that it is the literal, divinely inspired Word of God.”

Then GROK explains the popularity of the Bible, “So the Bible’s sales/distribution crown is impressive, but it is explained very adequately by two millennia of religious fervor, institutional backing, free distribution, and translation efforts—not by sales volume being evidence of unique divine origin. Many believers find the Bible’s divine status in its content, historical impact, or personal experience instead of raw copy counts.”

For those who want to read further, an article titled will bring a verified answer to the question the title raises. https://healing-with-joy.com/can-we-trust-the-bible-to-be-true/ (This site is on the Healing-with-Joy.com website. You can also find it at Healingwithjoy.blogspot.com.)

Joy Le Page Smith is a Board-certified clinical chaplain with with degrees in psychology and theology. View her children’s book as a video at healingwithjoy.blogspot.com Also, find many articles addressing life’s difficulties at Healing-with-Joy.com

Most of us have experienced painful events in our life’s journey. Sometimes these are huge and stand out in our minds. We may try to suppress the occurrences. However, the subconscious mind holds considerable sway in our lives having registered these happenstances. If only we could heal this inner angst, right? Well, we can. And, doing so holds significant potential to favorably affect our sleep.

Our subconscious mind records most all that has happened in life. This part of us comprises 90-98% of our minds, depending on how able we are individually toward collecting and comprehending all that is taking place within our lives.

The good news is that our subconscious mind can be reached through our dreams. We can gain from our subconscious although it is, for the most part, seemingly remote and not easily reached. The ability to interpret our dreams takes some time and effort, but is truly worth it. Various book on the subconscious mind are available. Reading self-help books and journaling on my dreams has made a healthy difference in my life.  These efforts made obvious to me that it is my responsibility to find the empowerment needed to overcome  my earlier life experiences for gaining peace of mind. 

Robert Collie, who is considered an expert in “self-helps,” writes that we reach our subconscious through our conscious mind, saying, “Your conscious mind is the porter at the door, the watchman at the gate.”

Since the language of the subconscious mind is pictures, we can impress upon that part of ourselves by giving mental pictures to our subconscious minds.

One of the best ways to do this is through deciding on a disturbing anxiety you need to change in your life. For instance, a divorce left you feeling wounded and betrayed; you are bogged down in a swamp of grief. You know holding that against your former spouse, or any other person or entity that continues to trouble you, hurts only you and not someone or something outside of you. We have to learn to let go if we want to have peace in our lives and sleep well. Yet, the key is knowing. Here is a technique:  Create a mental picture in which you “see” your mental suffering as an object. Give it size, color and shape. Mentally write on it “pain” and specify what that pain is about—a swamped relationship, illness, trauma, or other agony. Next, feel where you store it in your body. Think about it. You will know.

Now, picture with your mind’s eye that you can reach that pain within your body and hold it in your hands. See yourself extracting it from yourself so you can place it in a hot air balloon. Now see with your mind’s eye you are releasing the balloon, allowing it to drift far away and out of sight and out of mind. Feel the freedom . . . feel the empowerment.

The last part is to do this imaging as often as the pain of the divorce, etc., comes to mind in the future while saying, “I am letting go this torment for my own peace of mind and sanity. Remind yourself: I am forgiving what happened to me.”

Please know the above is not meant to simplify the matter of buried pain. Most of us suffer considerably from past experiences. It does take persistence to gain the ability to let go tenacious memories.  But given time we do find healing. The exercise above is one of “speaking” to the subconscious mind through using its language: mental picturing. Experts indicate the subconscious mind is the part of ourselves that we need to reach in order to heal the pain of our lives.

If you feel resistance to doing this, it may be that you believe an untruth or two. For one, believing there is an advantage to holding on to the pain thinking it provides protection is false. Your protection comes from being able to let go the past and forgive what has happened. It is OK to feel angry, as this is being honest with your feelings. That is a good thing. Hurt, anger and fear are normal emotions. Acknowledging these and moving through them is healthy.

Another falsehood is thinking you are affecting another person by hanging onto your distress of being harmed or betrayed by them. The truth is that you only defeat yourself by holding onto embitterment. You do not roil the other person to even the tiniest degree. Think of unforgiven memories as battery acid that can burn a hole in your soul. Ideally, we move on gaining some wisdom from painful situations…maybe even learn how to help others put an end to their pain.

I held onto my pain from a divorce that brought a reservoir of difficult feelings. Looking back, I thought I had to bear that for all of life. I wish someone had told me how to get free. Finally, I woke up, realizing I did not have to carry that awfulness; I could let it go.

I started forgiving my past and continued working persistently at clearing my soul of any and all inner hurts that attempted to raise their ugly heads in life. It felt so freeing to forgive and bring into existence a new state of heart and mind.

Once my children were raised, I gained the needed degrees to be in a professional role for helping others. Having learned how to free my own soul from inner anguish, I began helping others heal. This has brought meaning and purpose to my life.

Jesus said, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15).

That may sound harsh, but He wants us to be at peace—so we can sleep well. In Psalm 127:2^b reads, “For so He gives His beloved sleep.” We will always have the option for letting go the fear . . .  letting go the inner anguish—reaching out for the abundant life Jesus intends for us.

Now for those times when we toss on our beds unable to turn off difficult, persistent thoughts causing inner anguish? A technique called “Stop Thought!” has helped many people. It works whether you say the command aloud or silently.

Say, “Stop thought!” (Say it like you mean it!)

If the thought returns. Slowly and deliberately repeat, “Stop thought!” while visualizing each individual letter of these two words: S-T-O-P  T-H-O-U-G-H-T!

The thought may still persist. But be stubborn with your commands: “Stop thought!” Doing this repetitively tells your brain that you are the boss—and you really mean business. Nighty-night. Sleep tight.

Visit what Joy has for you at: www.healinglifespain.com

Or visit www.healing-with-Joy.com

ALL helps on the site EXCEPT FOR JOY’S BOOKS  are free for copying and sharing (yet, please credit website). 

I am not your mental health counselor, but a soul soother . . . one who “helps” where “helps” are needed.

Photo from: https://pixabay.com/images/search/ sleeping%20soundly/?manual_search=1

By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith,  MA, Board certified chaplain

Science is telling us that the brain and the organs of our bodies are closely connected. These newer revelations of medical research called psychoneuroimmunology (PNI*) clearly reveal the influence our thoughts, our emotions have on whether or not we will be well—and stay well. How does this happen? Our thoughts create our emotions and the power of our emotions bring changes to our body’s chemistry. There is no longer any doubt that what we think powerfully influence our health.

In your work within hospice, you do hard things on a daily basis. People wonder how you can do the work you do. I am sure you often hear this. Yet, one of the hardest things in all the world for all of us—at points in life—is to control our thoughts. Is it important? Yes, because almost exclusively feelings follow thoughts. Science has proven that what we think and feel influences whether or not we stay healthy.

Dealing with feelings can be both wonderful and terrible, depending on what prompts such feelings. As strong and stalwart as health providers are, all of us do better and stay healthier when we value our emotions versus shutting down on them. Research within the medical field of PNI reveals why it is important to honor and identify feelings-for the sake of one’s health. Chaplains can help patients understand that emotions can play a significant role on physical health. By encouraging patients to know it is safe to have emotional releases, this honesty with life’s pain does pay off as regards their physical health—as well as their emotional and spiritual health. Truth be known, in the long haul, this work with anger, rage, grief and guilt can even yield significant benefits within their relationships as well, provided they learn that valuing their emotions while expressing them can be done in such way as does not involve blaming others. (See article below on forgiveness.)

PNI is about the correlation between the body, psyche (soul) and spirit. My talk on August 16 will be about the power we hold over our health when we release negativity, carefully address our anxieties and control the stress we must manage in life. We will consider together how the psyche—or soul—of a person has a lot to do with how well things go health wise and in life.

A prayer to use for help with forgiveness is at:

https://healing-with-joy.com/PDFQuickAids/A%20Healing%20Forgiveness%20Prayer.pdf

www.healing-with-Joy.com holds many articles and blogs for self-help with inner healing. Free for coping and use. Please credit author as you share them.

Why do the work it takes to forgive?

1. We begin to feel better, as we have less emotional pain to manage in our daily lives.
2. Our relationships have potential to change.
3. We physically release the toxicity that builds up in our cells due to emotional anguish. Hurt, sadness, fear, anger, and bitterness held within does, over time, affect our health. Forgiving ourselves for our mistakes and our poor choices releases the guilt that can do a nasty number on our health.
4. We feel the “atta girl” or “atta boy” over doing what God asks of us. This places us in the Creator’s will and brings a satisfying feeling to our souls. This emotion promotes health: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Points to consider as regards forgiving

1. Some people think forgiving shows weakness. The opposite is true. It takes a great deal of strength to forgive some people.  And, it takes considerable determination and strength to forgive some things that have happened to us.
2. People often think forgiving means they are condoning bad, hurtful, or spiteful behaviors. The truth is that forgiving a person does not mean the behavior is accepted; not at all. To forgive is to release your soul from the difficult emotions that result when you are hurt or harmed.  It means you let God be God.  This frees God to work on the person or people involved, especially when you pray for them.  Jesus taught not only to forgive, but also to pray for our enemies.  To forgive means setting yourself free of emotional bondage.
3. Forgiving is a process. Initially, we set our will to forgive. Later, when old memories surface, or something current reminds us of what happened in the past, we deal with the feelings of hurt, anger, and fear that arise.  This takes getting clear about what is at the base of the feelings.  Then we tell God, “I give you these emotions.  I release them to you.  I have forgiven this.”  The process takes as long as it takes.  We have to be patient with ourselves, doing the work as many times as it becomes necessary.
4. The grace of God fills the soul of a person who determines to forgive all that has hurt or harmed him or her. This brings to us “the peace that passes understanding.” Aside from living in God’s will, nothing else in life can bring this level of peace.  We accept God’s peace, even when we cannot understand that peace can exist within difficult circumstances.
5. We are not asked to forgive others because God demands obedience. God asks us to forgive others, even our enemies, because we are loved. God wants us to have the best possible life!

The bottom line as regards forgiveness

To have the ultimate in life, means we will seek to live in the kingdom of God.  Ours is a spiritual kingdom that Jesus brought to us through His teachings.  This kingdom presents a very different way of living from the way usually seen within the world.  The kingdom of God is all about loving and being loved.  It is about being led by a heart filled with God’s Holy Spirit.  This state-of-being sees us doing good for our families, and finding ways to serve others through using our gifts, our talents.  While making the lives of others better, we are benefiting as well.  The joy of the Lord becomes a growing entity in our souls!

www.healinglifespain.com

The above website holds many additional articles by Joy Le Page Smith for finding help with spiritual and emotional pain.

This opening story of a friend is told with permission.

“My husband only hit me once? And, once was enough!

“That much I knew–and said, ‘If you ever hit me again, I’ll take this baby (pointing to our three month old child who was sitting in his high chair in the same room) and you will never see either of us again!’

“Apparently, that kept me safe from physical abuse. 

 

But eight years later I began to realize how unsafe and unhappy I had come to feel within this marriage. I knew loving kindness had gone out the window early on. The time had come to look fully in the face of truth: I was taking ‘hits’ of a different sort right and left–several times a week. Name calling, false accusations of having cheated on him, yelling demands of me in front of the children caused anxiety and the desire to flee. Yet, I had no “grounds” to leave him. Sexual unfaithfulness was the one reason my church taught as a justifiable reason for divorcing a spouse.

“I know lots of women have suffered physical beatings and been shoved down, slapped and even killed by their husbands. So, I didn’t think I was bad off enough to leave the marriage; that is, until I realized that on the QT my man was an outright womanizer. Coming to know this involved a mighty wake-up call. And, here was my ‘out.’”

My friend is a survivor. Her story helped me realize most people are not aware of the fact domestic violence can include emotional abuse through mental harassment listed below[1]:

• Embarrassing or shaming the victim with put-downs
• Looking at or acting in ways that scare the person they are abusing
• Showing jealousy of the victim’s family and friends and time spent away
• Groundless accusations, e.g., claiming a spouse has “cheated”
• Making fun of a person’s appearance
• Telling the victim that they can never do anything right
• Keeping or discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family members
• Controlling the money while selfishly spending and ignoring unpaid bills
• Taking the victim’s money or refusing to give them money for expenses
• Controlling who the victim sees, where they go, or what they do
• Dictating how the victim dresses, wears their hair, etc.
• Stalking the victim or monitoring their every move (in person or also via the internet and/or other devices such as GPS tracking or the victim’s phone)
• Preventing the victim from making their own decisions
• Telling the victim that they are a bad parent or threatening to hurt, kill, or take away their children
• Threatening to hurt or kill the victim’s friends, loved ones, or pets
• Intimidating the victim with guns, knives, or other weapons
• Pressuring the victim to have sex when they don’t want to or to do things sexually they are not comfortable with
• Forcing sex with others
• Refusing to use protection when having sex or sabotaging birth control
• Pressuring or forcing the victim to use drugs or alcohol
• Preventing the victim from working or attending school—or harassing to keep them up all night so they perform badly at their job or in school
• Destroying the victim’s property

Always–first, take steps toward establishing fair communication, wherein you and the other listen to one another. Do your absolute best to talk things through. Let fairness forever be the rule. But when push comes to shove–and you don’t feel safe, do not be afraid to call the police for help. Remember, too, that there are safe houses. Often these include care for children, as well.

Most women who have been abused will eventually find a safe place to run. We know we best hide ourselves and our children until the divorce papers are served. It takes time for the reality to set in after a person is served notice of divorce. Using one’s head may well keep you alive. So, value the need to protect yourself. Be wise. Then work toward finding who you are and what you want in life. Learn to value and honor yourself.

Men suffer abuse, too. But, they are somewhat less likely to need police protection as compared to women.  In most instances, but not all, women are in charge of their children. The police know where “safe houses” are located. No one else has that information. These are truly safe places for abused people to find safety. Often counseling is provided within safe houses and skills are honed in preparation for employment. When drug dependence is involved, that is given care and attention, as well. 

There is more than “hope for a good life”–beyond the hell you have lived through. Take courage; your future can begin NOW. Another chance at life can be your reality. It happens for many—and it happened for me. Decades have passed. I remarried. This dear man helped me raise my children. He cared about my needs in life and has shown how loyalty, fidelity and “unconditional love” can make all the difference in the world. This, too, may well become your experience. It takes “going for it!”

[1] This list from The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at https://ncadv.org/ Visited 10/29/21. Three additional entries were added to the list after hearing my friend’s story.

Elements of an Effective Pastoral Care Encounter

By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC 

Author of  The Chaplain is In: Journal to Health and Happiness 

1. Do more listening than talking.
2. Listen in a new way: listen with the heart. (I pray inwardly as I listen.)
3. Sense where the person is emotionally. There are five major categories of feelings. Listen to what feelings might be behind their words, like sadness, regret, anger, guilt. There may be places where you hear joy and gratitude. If so, get the person to share more with you about what is bringing them comfort and hope. This will help them find their focus in their faith.
4. Watch for what is not being said as well as to what is being said. There may be something they cannot put into words, but you are hearing it through the feelings the person is subtly revealing. You can ask, “What is the hardest part for you?” When a person is expressing emotional pain, you may feel, too. What is helpful is to simply say, “I am sorry for your pain.” Continue listening, being with them as they give words to whatever shortcoming, sorrow or failure that is weighing on her or his mind.
5. Let silence be. It is powerful to allow minutes wherein nothing is said. Lots comes up from the depths of a person’s heart when a caring person is so very present, waiting, wanting to extend these moments during which a person can feel and think.
6. Let the person’s gruffness or anger be. It is O.K. for them to voice anger–even anger at God. Affirm their ability to express the emotions they are feeling.
7. Be willing to risk: “Would you like to talk about what you are thinking and feeling right now?” Expect the person to deny being angry, even when you hear it in his or her voice. But trust it. They will have heard you. They will think about your question.
8. While with people, if our demeanor and tone of voice indicate care, we have done our job well. Often, people will continue pondering our presence with them after we leave, or later on in their lives. What we say is not what carries the most weight. It is our being there, our listening which says to them, “You are valued.” “You are important.” “You matter.” “I’m here for you.”  
9. When you leave the visit, take time to examine the encounter. How did it strike your own heart? Did you have discomfort, fear, or anger while listening to the person? Did you have a tendency to judge the person at any point? Ask God to help you identify where your own life pain has not been healed.  Do not expect yourself to do this work perfectly. God will use even our mistakes. Just try not to make them. ;-)
10. Remember that the primary focus of our work as a caring minister of God’s love is not to change a person’s mind, give answers or to tell that person how to think–or feel!
11. Our best gift to a person is to extend unconditional acceptance, unconditional positive regard. This appropriately honors God, who has sent us to serve. God honors all of us where we are at any given time–allowing us the experience of growth in this life. Where a person is now, does not mean they will be in that same place spiritually in a month, a year, or at the end of life.
12. A wonderful aid to good visitation comes in regarding the person as a “living document.“ This means that we have much to learn from them and we do learn much when we listen for the message that is under all.
13. Regarding losses, life circumstances, persistent disease, and pain, ask, “Can you forgive this happening to you?” (Tell them what medical science has discovered about forgiveness and how important it is to even one’s physical health.
14. Watch for your own discomforts. Deal with these after the visit while alone, e.g. fear of death, disability, disfigurement, loss of speech, body functions, etc. We are human; we feel all of these, at times, during the work.
15. Stay out of the picture. (Telling patients our story is rarely helpful. What is helpful is when we extend a loving, listening presence.)
16. You can ask, “When you became ill, were you under a lot of stress?” (Often the answer is, “Yes.”) Follow with, “Talking about our stresses greatly relieves them. Would you like to talk about the stress you have been experiencing through this circumstance?” This can be a time for explaining how we help our immune systems when we talk or have tears, releasing what we are holding tightly inside ourselves.
17. You may feel called to minister to a person during a time of trauma (i.e., after a fire) stay calm and comfortable within chaos. Know the extreme expression of emotion will end. Meanwhile, remind yourself of the benefit when a person has cathartic emotion and that such outward expression of inward grief and pain is an important aspect of mourning losses.
18. Hearing the patient first, before stepping into the role of pastoral counseling is not only essential to good pastoral care, but it is polite. It is caring.
19. Take care of yourself. Live a balanced life to avoid burn out. We must know when it is time to get alone with God. Praying, journaling, doing our own screaming and crying can be important to some of us.

Sometimes it is not an easy task to maintain unconditional warm regard for a person. Yet, only if we come to a person with acceptance of them, their life, their person–and what they believe—can we bring to them the love that heals. Without saying it, we are God’s love to people as He has called us to this work. We are bringing God’s help to those who hurt.

May God give you the courage to go where He leads you

And to be the person He calls you to be.

 May you thirst to be in His Word each day—seeking always

To follow the Holy Spirit’s lead as you work with patients.

“First do no harm” (the Hippocratic Oath)

Dr. Gordon Mate, author of When the Body Says No, states that children who hold their emotions in rigidly are taxing their nervous systems. When the adults in their lives discourage their expressing difficult emotions, children have no other recourse than to hold in their anger and sadness, ever so tightly. Dr. Mate connects serious illness, in some instances, with the fact that the nervous system only has so much energy to expend for “pushing down powerful emotions that cry out for expression.”

Below is a technique to use with children, which will help them validate their emotions. This will
result in their having less stress and better health. When a child is upset, ask, “What are you
feeling?” 

Mostly, both big people and little people have to learn how to validate emotions through
identifying what is felt and how the feeling relates to what is happening in life. The key to success
within this work is to watch when you feel uncomfortable or unhappy about something said or
done. Then do the work of identifying what emotion is arising.

The following five simple steps will give children a method for identifying what it is they are
feeling. 

Hold up one of your hands with your palm open toward your face. Look at your fingers. Let
your first four fingers represent a feeling: glad, sad, mad, and “afrad.” (The word “afraid” is
tweaked here to allow a rhyme.) In this exercise your thumb can represent guilt. My suggestion is
to present these steps to your children, helping them to memorize the process. The idea, here, is to
get the children to identify their feelings and feel O.K. about expressing them, rather than to act
out their feelings.

Step 1: Beginning with your little finger, say, “glad,” while deciding whether or not this is the
emotion you are feeling. Probably, you aren’t feeling glad in the midst of a difficult moment. Yet,
this little finger (our glad finger) can remind us that within every difficult circumstance we can find
something for which to be glad or grateful.

Step 2: Move to your ring finger and say, “sad,” while asking yourself, “Am I feeling sad? Have I
been hurt by this thought of mine or by what has happened just now?” Our negative thoughts can
hurt as much as words from others. Watch for them and weed them out as quickly as they come.
Negative thoughts pull you down and are self-destructive.

Step 3: Next hold up your middle finger and say, “mad,” as this is one of our frequent feelings. 
Keep in mind that irritation and frustration are derivatives of anger. Ask, “Am I frustrated? Am I
irritated?”

Step 4: Now, hold up your index finger and say “afrad” (afraid). Consider the emotion of fear
by asking yourself, “Am I feeling fear or anxiety in this situation?”

Step 5: End with your thumb, saying, “My thumb stands for guilt.” Ask yourself, “Is guilt what I
am feeling within this situation?” If we have done something hurtful to oneself or to another, wecan ask to be forgiven. Then, release that feeling of guilt, as it no onger belongs to you.  Thumbs up for overcoming that guilt.

Taking time with children in this way allows for intimacy through opening the door for them to talk about what in life has become hard for them.

By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

This is an exercise that has really helped me. It is amazing help when emotional pain is great within this experience of life.

For best results, lie down (or sit quietly) envisioning the entirety of your torso covered by a huge sponge. See the Lord Jesus placing this sponge on your body, holding it there. Envision Him as sending love into your soul.

Next, purpose to let go the difficult feelings while visualizing them being released from your body into the sponge. (I visualize vapors leaving my body while releasing the feelings.) Do this as long and as often as you need to while letting go of the pain you are feeling.

The unconscious mind works with pictures, images created by dreams, or the conscious mind. For this reason an exercise such as this, allows the message of healing to be received by the unconscious mind where healing is needed.

If you let tears flow when they arise, this will help you release the painful emotions, and bless your body with relief. Tell yourself that love is flowing like a river into your heart, and throughout your entire body, replacing the pain. Offer thanks to God as you receive this healing.

This healing work is a process; it takes varying degrees of time, depending on the depth of the pain. The above exercise has affected me greatly.

I find the exercise even more helpful when it is possible to fall asleep within the process of releasing the pain. This allows the healing to move deep into the in conscious mind.

By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

Someone once said, “If it feels like a kick in the stomach, it’s probably a kick in the stomach.” That is true. Yet, you can mentally block the kick as adroitly as one practicing the martial art of Aikido.

Once you get the feeling that you have been struck unkindly by words or actions, breathe in deeply, allowing your brain a fresh and full supply of oxygen. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain scientist assures us in her book

My Stroke of Insight that if we can allow 90 seconds to pass before speaking, the quantity of emotion felt will change. Her claim is that when our emotions are hot, simply waiting 1 ½ minutes will bring the emotion to a much more manageable level.

I recommend Dr. Taylor’s book as a great tool for understanding much about how the brain works. Life hands us plenty of difficult moments. For example, envision yourself driving down the road, taking your time at the speed limit. Suddenly, someone passes you, then while you are alongside at the stop light that driver yells, “Hey stupid! Get your butt in gear! Where did you learn to drive—the nursing home?” Yelling something back will serve to escalate the situation. For sure, we don’t know who is packing a gun these days.

Here is a place for setting boundaries with yourself, meaning to quietly ignore the castigation. This is not your problem. And, the signal light will change. You were served an out of bounds ball. Now, the ball is in your court. You can deal with the feelings that arise. Help yourself out with a deep breathe, honor the feelings by identifying them. Then, after breathing them away, you can mosey on, knowing that you responded well. You stood tall and did not react.

Deep breathing will help in every difficult instance, supplying your brain with maximum oxygen. At times when you need to interact with another person, one with whom you must deal more directly, listen to what is said. Then, once you have cooled down, consider these three examples of responses that can serve effectively to set boundaries: “Pardon me for saying so, but that is not helpful.” Or, “I am uncomfortable with this conversation. We can talk again at a later time.” Even a stronger statement is just as appropriate. For instance, “I prefer not to talk on this subject, again.”

When boundaries are ignored, that person is disrespectful. Setting boundaries means there must be consequences when they are “dissed.” Without consequences, boundaries will vanish into thin air. Few people like to confront. Yet, setting boundaries with another is the best mode for helping others know how you want to be treated.

Usually, people will respect you for taking good care of yourself in this way, although your strength might not be appreciated in the moment. If a person does not respect your boundaries they are being rude and controlling, most likely without even realizing it. The key to success during confrontation is to modulate these three aspects of your communication: manner, timing, and intensity. These are elements of speech over which you do have control. It takes noticing your communication habits and being willing to make changes where needed. Yet, doing can bring good changes within your relationships and therefore more enjoyment in life.

One evening as Gary and I were sitting on the patio a little owl showed his presence (maybe her presence). We were pleased and started talking to the owl in low, inviting tones. With big eyes he slowly stepped toward us, stopping every few steps. We kept sending “sweet nothings” to him with gentleness. He walked to within 6 feet of where we were sitting on the glider, settling himself to be snugged in, close to the inner branches of a Myrtle bush. There he stayed—standing, yet with a constant eye on us.

We both felt joy in this new adventure especially as the owl returned daily to stand by our Myrtle while we were so near. Besides enjoying getting up close and personal with hummingbirds at points, since building our home here 29 years ago, this is the first real “visitation” initiated by a bird.

Each time we saw him we felt joined. It was happy-making. Then, he was gone and didn’t come any more. It was like losing a friend.

It comes to mind how much God must enjoy our times of coming to Him in prayer. And, how it could hurt Him when we let go our coming to Him.

Words written by Cecil Frances Alexander in her Hymns for Little Children, 1848, All Things Bright and Beautiful, containing stanzas elaborating words within the Apostles’ Creed reminding of God as maker of all.

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.
.
Each little flower that opens,
Each little bird that sings,
He made their glowing colours,
He made their tiny wings.

The purple headed mountain,
The river running by,
The sunset and the morning,
That brightens up the sky;−
The cold wind in the winter,
The pleasant summer sun,
The ripe fruits in the garden
He made them every one:

The tall trees in the greenwood,
The meadows where we play,
The rushes by the water,
We gather every day;

He gave us eyes to see them,
And lips that we might tell,

The song’s main point, lifts the heart:

“How great is God Almighty,
Who has made all things well.” Amen.

At times coming to God is like the little owl wanting to be close, yet cautiously approaching, full of questions . . . often unable to formulate them. It is easy to be so in awe of God that we may wonder how safe it is to come close. This is a question that many speak of, in so many words, before gaining enough courage to know Him.

With eyes on us, we cherished being observed by this beloved creature. There was a sense of being seen that held gentleness and gratitude—or so we thought. The owl may have experienced something entirely different, like ”Will they help me, or hurt me.”

Both Gary and I relished being so close, so trusted. We felt sad when the owl did not return.

Is this what God feels when we fly off to a life without Him? Or, does God not feel . . . rather just waits, knowing all will be with Him—in the end? Perhaps the little owl “coming alongside” us for significant periods of time could be compared with our ”visitations,” wherein we set out  to commune with God—with words, or speechlessly in awe.