By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA

It is said, “Healing the soul is like peeling an onion.”  This is true.  The layers of pain, resentment, bitterness, and sorrow come off one by one.  No matter how many conferences attended and books read in hopes of getting more comfortable in our skins, most of us come to a notable realization: The hidden pain in our psyches hasn’t gone away.  It takes more than understanding.  We are going to have to deal with it.

Here is the crux of the matter: If we want to be whole, we have to fight against all inclinations to gulp down feelings.  Instead, when we feel tears at the corners of our eyes, we must admit what we are feeling, then allow the tears to flow, in a place where we feel safe.  Most often, this takes place in privacy.  Without a doubt, your body and your soul are healthier when you let those tears flow.  Trust this natural, God-given process.  Remind yourself that this emotional work does pay off.  Freedom from your inner pain is on the way.  Days of living with less stress lie ahead.  Learning to grieve life’s losses in this manner was a major factor in my becoming well after having to wage a serious battle to stay alive.

My “Get Well Program” involved praying, meditating, and studying Scriptures.  However, I also journaled and listened to my dreams.  One dream in particular spoke loud and clear about all my inner angst.  In this dream, I am shown a huge mountain of frozen tears.  The dream scene is an awesomely cold place!  I awaken knowing that a piece of truth has paid me a visit.  I see, clearly, that a mountain of frozen tears resides within my psyche.  Those frozen tears need to come down, but they have to come down slowly, not all at once.  I have to own up to all that stored grief, now so remote and hard to reach.

Eventually, my mountain of frozen tears began to thaw, allowing me to feel and to release that old, buried pain.  I learned the value of tears and the need to let them have their way when they want to come.  Jesus said, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).  The fact remains that coming to truth can take a lot of time and diligent effort when we have repressed a great deal of emotion, hoping it will “go away”–if we just stay busy enough.  Or, drink enough … do enough drugs … recreate more.  Clearly, if we want the change which brings a better life–one that is honoring to God–we have to do the work.  And, for a lot of us, tears initiate the process.

The truth about tears is that they help to heal our psyche (soul).  And, amazingly enough, this little bit of water that begs to run down our cheeks helps our bodies.

Science indicates that tears are always present in the eyes and contain water, mucins, proteins, oils and electrolytes to keep the eyes moist, protect the eyes and facilitate the smooth movement of the lids over the surface.  Tears are essential and their functions are many.

William H. Frey II, Ph.D. and Muriel Langseth, are authors of Crying: The Mystery of Tears.1 Dr. Frey, a neuroscientist, at the Regions Hospital in St. Paul, Minnesota, suggests that physical benefits are gained through releasing emotional tears.  He studied tears for 15 years, analyzing two types:  1) tears that come while crying when we are emotionally upset or stressed; and 2) tears arising from eye irritants, including onions.  Dr. Frey and his colleagues also found that all tears are not the same and that stress-induced tears have a 24% higher protein concentration than tears caused by eye irritants.  Dr. Frey proposed that weeping is an excretory process which facilitates the removal of substances that build up during times of emotional stress.

One of the compounds found by Dr. Frey and his colleagues in human tears is Adrenocorticotropic Hormone (ACTH).  This chemical is known to increase in the blood during stress.  This doctor’s studies demonstrate that 85% of women and 73% of men feel better after crying.  This indicates that suppressing tears over long periods of time may reduce our ability to alleviate stress, while increasing our risk of stress-related disorders, which include high blood pressure, heart problems, certain ulcers, and perhaps even memory loss.

More and newer research is showing that our bodies are helped when we pay attention to those moments when we feel tears arising, or when we have a lump in the throat.  On, Nurse Connect, in a posting titled “Nursing Dynamics and Clinical Issues,” a nurse writes: “Without tears most nurses would be emotional wrecks.  Let’s face it, nursing is an emotional profession; on any given day we may witness pain, suffering and death, or extreme joy, relief and gratitude … encouraging a colleague not to cry, to ‘be strong,’ is detrimental to their psyche.”  This nurse concluded that chemicals built up in the body during stressful moments are removed by tears.  We all have challenges, disappointments, and stressful times.  Yielding to a good cry is a definite way of lowering our stress level and potentially helping our bodies to release harmful stress-related chemicals.

Ultimately, allowing our tears, permits both physical and emotional benefits.  For one, tears carry a promise for better times ahead.  We can be certain that clarity about what is at the root of our sadness, confusion or anxiety brings a certain joy of its own.  Progress is gained as we are encouraged with increased understanding of how this restorative assistance for better health truly works.

1. William H. Frey, Muriel Langseth, The Mystery of Tears (Minneapolis: Winston Press, 1977).

About the author: Joy Le page Smith, MA is a Board Certified Clinical Chaplain. Visit Healing-with-Joy.com for Joy’s blog along with many helpful articles addressing life’s difficulties. Her books and blogs are read in up to 32 countries. Her second site is at Healingwithjoy.blogspot.com

By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

Have you ever had something take place that startled your psyche to the point you could not stand to give it space? So you just kept as busy as possible . . . pushing yourself to stay on task, trying to avoid a reality that is staring you in the face?

For some it may simply be the news and knowing that far too often children are being shot when all they did is go to school for another day of learning.

The other morning I sat for my usual “first thing of the day”—prayer and Scripture reading . . . yet, once still and quiet some innermost feelings edged forward.

Knowing tears were coming—and that I didn’t want them—these words flew from pen to paper, “Why should I cry when there is so much to be thankful for?”

There are times when tears help us keep our balance if allowed at points within the journey. Life has great joys, yet sorrows also come that find us wondering, “How can I deal with this?”

Take the happenstance of a couple, married for decades now sensing an oneness and a love that’s deep and wondrous. Then cancer takes center stage. They do all possible to fight it medically . . . steadily trusting it cannot take power over them.

So, as much as their desire is to hold steady in gratitude for enjoying many years in a happy marriage, reckoning with cancer’s challenges changes things. Life seems most tenuous and there is an aching of heart now that comes and goes.

Often tears are fought and felt like enemies as it seems they hold power to take a person down. Refusing our tears may seem safer, yet the fact remains: allowing them to flow can be a true gift, helping us to get a handle on what feels unendurable.

What authors William H. Frey II, Ph.D. and Muriel Langseth, write in Crying: The Mystery of Tears makes clear that suppressing tears over long periods of time can reduce our ability to release stress and therefore increase our risk of stress-related disorders, which include high blood pressure, heart problems, certain ulcers, and perhaps even memory loss.

There are plenty of medical assurances that keep showing that our bodies loosen up and are helped when we allow tears. So allowing the tears helps make it possible to reckon with what is beneath our sadness, confusion, fear or anxiety. This honesty can bring a certain joy of its own. We are honoring ourselves . . . cutting ground for growing . . . by determining to be okay with a little “heart melt” from time to time.

We give ourselves empowerment when we honor what is at the depths of our hearts. This can be a definite factor toward staying healthy this side of the grave.  We are human after all; made of clay, not steel.

Actually, The shortest verse in the Bible, John 11:35, shows, “Jesus wept.”

About the author: Joy Le Page Smith is a Board certified clinical chaplain. Her articles and blogs are read in 32 countries. Joy’s four books are available on her home page at Healing-with-Joy.com where readers can view her children’s book titled, The Little Mountain Goat Who Was Afraid of High Places.