By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA

This post is different from all others and  it is “a hard read.” It is extended here to inform for the purpose of protecting women. The story below is accompanied with some facts that are difficult for most of us to comprehend: slavery is present–both sexual and labor slavery–in the USA. The following life experience shared below reveals a ploy used by devious, perpetrating men who are sexually abusing women. Then, after the abuse, which totally weakens a woman causing her to feel alone, vulnerable, overcome and undone–this is when the prospect of prostitution as a lucrative livelihood may well be proposed. 

The woman who entrusted this story to me knows she has little time to live. She came to me, a chaplain, asking if she could trust me to publish her story, adding, “I don’t want to die without knowing that by telling it, I am lighting a candle for other women.”  

I could see how painful this matter is for her. She added, “Although it shakes my soul to tell it, doing so holds power to help keep others safe.”

While promising to publish her story, I assured this woman anonymity will also be granted. Title proposes a question for parents:

At what age do you think your daughter is ready to read this?

If you think “never,” think again. The subject, here, involves a larger problem in our country than we, the US citizens, have wanted to acknowledge. After reading the latest issue of Time magazine which carries an article involving Jeffrey Epstein, I knew my story must be told.

Back in the 1960’s I had no idea there was a monstrous scheme alive and well in the small city where I grew up. My ignorance was pay dirt for the team of men who “befriended” my friend and me at a bar. They were handsome and appeared to be successful businessmen. After dancing with us, we were invited to a party. We were both divorced, members of the same Sunday School class at church, and in our early 20’s dancing was our “fun thing.”

Neither of us had experienced more than a couple of occasions where alcohol was served. We could not know how drinking can alter judgment. We both agreed to go to the party; however, the men took us in separate cars. I learned later that my friend was taken to the party. I never told her why she did not see me there. This was a team unfolding a devilish scheme.

There was no party for me but rather I was taken to a vacant apartment in the most exclusive part of downtown, overlooking the city’s expansive park and surrounding mountains. As we arrived, I thought this would be the place where the party was being held. But when this “new friend” unlocked the door of an apartment, and ushered me in, no one else was present. Once we entered, he immediately began trying to touch me! I was shocked to the core and highly frightened realizing the deception I had walked into and now THIS! I asked to be taken back to my car.

He got very close to my ear and said loudly, “You will have sex—with a beating, or without a beating.”

I quickly recognized I was in real danger; no one knew where I was. No one knew where they could find me. The man was obviously stronger and much larger than I was. It was clear I could not fight him off and with my health history being beaten would carry a strong possibility of my not surviving it. The only way I could get out with the least amount of harm—was to make a very huge sacrifice. Complying would bring my best hope to be taken to my car without “the beating.”

When I was taken to my car I was also asked, “Would you like a job that pays well?” I played along asking about the job and was told, “It’s spending evenings with businessmen entertaining them. Really good pay.” I was still in a huge amount of shock, fear and angst, hoping to get out of his car as fast as possible and home to my children. I, with my children, lived in the home of my parents after my divorce. That evening my children were being cared for by their grandparents while I had an evening out with my girlfriend. So I played along saying, “OK.” He said, “You will get a call soon.”

A call did come very soon. Thankfully, the number I gave was the only number I had, my parents’ phone number. For it was my father who answered the call that came late one evening. He must have smelled a rat. I heard him shouting in rage from my bedroom telling the caller he had better NEVER call his daughter again!

It took years before I was ready to talk to a counselor. One session was all I could handle.  It helped me let go of the shame I had had for so long after giving in to what was demanded of me. My counselor said, “What you did saved your life! You are alive today because you made a quick and wise choice under exceeding pressure.”

I recalled seeing this man at a class reunion and that he was an attorney, married to a classmate. I later felt sad and guilty over not feeling able to report to the police what had happened. But my life was already broken apart through a divorce that lasted nine months as my former husband had started a legal battle intending to prevent me from divorcing him. It seemed obvious the courts were mostly favoring the requests of men back in the 1960’s. I decided to move on in a survival mode so my children could have as normal a life as possible.

I had a mental breakdown soon after arriving back home. The damage done included being sexually assaulted in such a way as after the fact, I felt like I had agreed to it.

Even after so many years have passed, considerable guilt accompanies the memories if I let them arise. I have known my inability to speak up undoubtedly allowed this same scheme to continue hurting the lives of others. Along with that, having my life threatened if I did not obey a perpetrator’s mandate made my world seem exceedingly unsafe.

The experience of losing my ability to decide how my body would be touched makes the memory of being assaulted hard to release.

Life has been affected in several ways after being raped. Some days I feel fear about taking a walk within my own good neighborhood. A feeling indicating “something bad might happen” is familiar. This is an apprehension that has to be shaken off at times.

The reason victims do not want to tell their stories after being raped is because something has been taken away from us. I have innately felt “if people know what happened to me, they will think less of me.” Of course, that is not true. Still, a victim of sexual abuse wants to live beyond it. We do not want to think about it as we do not want our thoughts or the thoughts of others to include that dark, painful place in our past. We live our lives best in the goodness of the present. Life itself is a present.

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The International Labor Organization estimates that roughly 50 million people are now living in conditions of modern slavery, in forms of forced labor and sex trafficking. There is no way we can know how many lives prostitution and human trafficking have interrupted and even ended. Some die trying to escape, many others work as directed under unheard of pressures. A great wound has been opened in our society through the files exposing the crimes of Jeffery Epstein. This has brought public concern as to why this heartbreaking abuse of women happened in the US. And why was it not handled differently, once it was discovered? Are our laws not clear enough on this? Are our penal codes not strong enough? Or is it a matter of prostitution being winked, mean now considered a regular part of society?

God forbid we close this wound up without first bringing effective treatment to this massive insult to humanity. Watchful, monitoring through eyes that are dedicated to bringing permanent resolutions to this huge harm in our society are essential.

Women who have been sexually abused rarely feel OK talking about it. Their agony over it is too great to think about it again, let alone to tell it. They want to forget about it. So, their stories are rarely told publicly, or even in courts. Sadly, it seems this may be the reason prostitution and human trafficking continue. Another element lies with the fact reading about rape–having a person’s body forcefully entered finds most people shudder and move on to find something to make life feel more safe. The same is true while reading about how women are induced into prostitution. Their stories are rarely told.

As shocking as these stories are of how women are captured or otherwise inducted to prostitution by perpetrators must be told and honored. A demand for change is in order. Pretending it does not happen or deciding it doesn’t matter will allow an inhuman industry to go on—and get worse. The shocking stories of how women are captured or otherwise inducted to prostitution by perpetrators must be told and honored

As for our governing powers, I now fully believe change can come if people are willing to tell their stories of what happened to them and how such an event has made life more difficult for them. The people we pay to take care of us must look at prostitution, know more about the ins and outs of it and seriously determine what is needed to heal the situation.

Thinking things are OK “as they are”, . . . that the problem will get better on its own—or go away, will only find prostitution and human trafficking getting worse. As it is, no one’s daughter is safe from common schemes like the one seen in the above story told by a woman who mustered her courage in order to make a difference for others.

For helps with difficulties of life, visit Joy’s other postings  within Healing-with-Joy.com. Also, enjoy visiting Healingwithjoy.blogspot.com which has amazing photography can be translated into any of the world’s known languages. Joy’s sites have readers in up to 50 countries.

By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

Sometimes within my work as a chaplain there is as much humor as there is sadness. Some questions are expected, yet others can pin my soul right to the wall.

For some my visit is a time when, in different ways and words, they want to know if they can trust me. They sometimes think a church has sent me to see them.  So the first question asked is often, “What church do you go to?” I tell them that I am a Board-certified clinical chaplain, not sent to their bedside from a local church. Then, I assure them that within our conversation, “All faiths (or lack of it) are honored.”

Then, I ask, “Would you like to talk about why you are here and how this illness is affecting your life?” This starts a conversation allowing us to get to know one another a bit more. At times they open up and talk about their fears regarding their health and the uncertainties involved with illness. I take this opportunity to ask, “Within life, what helps you when hard things happen?”

It is obvious that many people have faith in God and pray.  Others want to ask questions about the fact they would like to believe the Bible, or in God, yet can’t get past certain questions they have. Occasionally, this conversation will find the person asking how they can prepare their souls since death may come next. They want to know how to be ready for that next step, realizing quite fully that no one gets out of here alive.

A given is that God is holy and often our lives are “not so holy.” So, the first step in coming to God in prayer normally finds us humans wanting to be forgiven so our souls “can warrant a conversation with Almighty God.” The “sinner’s prayer,” when people are willing to say it, often brings a flood of relief, even great joy. An abundance of tears are sometimes seen. These are not tears of sadness, but of a joy that arises when a person senses that God is real—and really there for them. They realize the Holy Spirit has entered their lives. It can be a powerful event when people respond to the “knock” heard at heart’s door resulting in a “yes” for Jesus Christ to enter in—intending for Him to guide their lives.

Recently, while with a patient, I was asked some hard questions: such as, “Who created God?” I explained that God is beyond science.  Rather, God is about faith. When a person asks for God’s Holy Spirit to cleanse their heart and forgive them, a journey of faith begins. Freedom from guilt and shame over past behaviors creates inner peace. While hearing and reading the Scriptures, answers come to one’s heart bringing joy and assurance.

Still, there are mysteries to be pondered. For instance, a question about the “trinity” came up recently. This person asked, “How can God be both Father and Son at the same time, plus include a third person—the Holy Spirit?”

I admitted there is lots to be said about this, but boldly extended my version, saying, “Think of us humans as having a body, a mind and a soul (spirit). Majorly as humans we are different from God. He is omnipotent– all-powerful. God has no limits. So God can be three persons at once, each being able to act separately, while still being One.

Another question that also troubles people at times is “Why did God have to send his son to die on the cross ‘for our sins?’ ’’ Ultimately this is a matter covered well in Hebrew 2: 9-12, “. . . according to the law almost all things are purified with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no remission.”

The sacrificing of animals was a ritual practiced since the beginning of time. Sin is innate for the human soul—and tenacious. Yet, out of love for us, Jesus came to shed His blood for us, thus providing a covering for the sins of all who place their trust in Him. So, it was out of the greatest of all loves that God’s plan provided the means for freeing us from our sins.

Verse 12 assures us that “. . . it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment.” We have only to ask for the Lord Jesus to cover our sins, acknowledging Him as our Lord. He becomes our Savior once we believe in Him and receive Him as our Savior, which grants us the right and the power to become a child of God. Therefore, after death, we are granted eternal life with Him.

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Please consider extending my Home page to family members and friends who are struggling with grief, life adjustment, or on a search for spiritual care. The website is filled with “Helps.”  Free for copying and sharing.