By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA

This post is different from all others and  it is “a hard read.” It is extended here to inform for the purpose of protecting women. The story below is accompanied with some facts that are difficult for most of us to comprehend: slavery is present–both sexual and labor slavery–in the USA. The following life experience shared below reveals a ploy used by devious, perpetrating men who are sexually abusing women. Then, after the abuse, which totally weakens a woman causing her to feel alone, vulnerable, overcome and undone–this is when the prospect of prostitution as a lucrative livelihood may well be proposed. 

The woman who entrusted this story to me knows she has little time to live. She came to me, a chaplain, asking if she could trust me to publish her story, adding, “I don’t want to die without knowing that by telling it, I am lighting a candle for other women.”  

I could see how painful this matter is for her. She added, “Although it shakes my soul to tell it, doing so holds power to help keep others safe.”

While promising to publish her story, I assured this woman anonymity will also be granted. Title proposes a question for parents:

At what age do you think your daughter is ready to read this?

If you think “never,” think again. The subject, here, involves a larger problem in our country than we, the US citizens, have wanted to acknowledge. After reading the latest issue of Time magazine which carries an article involving Jeffrey Epstein, I knew my story must be told.

Back in the 1960’s I had no idea there was a monstrous scheme alive and well in the small city where I grew up. My ignorance was pay dirt for the team of men who “befriended” my friend and me at a bar. They were handsome and appeared to be successful businessmen. After dancing with us, we were invited to a party. We were both divorced, members of the same Sunday School class at church, and in our early 20’s dancing was our “fun thing.”

Neither of us had experienced more than a couple of occasions where alcohol was served. We could not know how drinking can alter judgment. We both agreed to go to the party; however, the men took us in separate cars. I learned later that my friend was taken to the party. I never told her why she did not see me there. This was a team unfolding a devilish scheme.

There was no party for me but rather I was taken to a vacant apartment in the most exclusive part of downtown, overlooking the city’s expansive park and surrounding mountains. As we arrived, I thought this would be the place where the party was being held. But when this “new friend” unlocked the door of an apartment, and ushered me in, no one else was present. Once we entered, he immediately began trying to touch me! I was shocked to the core and highly frightened realizing the deception I had walked into and now THIS! I asked to be taken back to my car.

He got very close to my ear and said loudly, “You will have sex—with a beating, or without a beating.”

I quickly recognized I was in real danger; no one knew where I was. No one knew where they could find me. The man was obviously stronger and much larger than I was. It was clear I could not fight him off and with my health history being beaten would carry a strong possibility of my not surviving it. The only way I could get out with the least amount of harm—was to make a very huge sacrifice. Complying would bring my best hope to be taken to my car without “the beating.”

When I was taken to my car I was also asked, “Would you like a job that pays well?” I played along asking about the job and was told, “It’s spending evenings with businessmen entertaining them. Really good pay.” I was still in a huge amount of shock, fear and angst, hoping to get out of his car as fast as possible and home to my children. I, with my children, lived in the home of my parents after my divorce. That evening my children were being cared for by their grandparents while I had an evening out with my girlfriend. So I played along saying, “OK.” He said, “You will get a call soon.”

A call did come very soon. Thankfully, the number I gave was the only number I had, my parents’ phone number. For it was my father who answered the call that came late one evening. He must have smelled a rat. I heard him shouting in rage from my bedroom telling the caller he had better NEVER call his daughter again!

It took years before I was ready to talk to a counselor. One session was all I could handle.  It helped me let go of the shame I had had for so long after giving in to what was demanded of me. My counselor said, “What you did saved your life! You are alive today because you made a quick and wise choice under exceeding pressure.”

I recalled seeing this man at a class reunion and that he was an attorney, married to a classmate. I later felt sad and guilty over not feeling able to report to the police what had happened. But my life was already broken apart through a divorce that lasted nine months as my former husband had started a legal battle intending to prevent me from divorcing him. It seemed obvious the courts were mostly favoring the requests of men back in the 1960’s. I decided to move on in a survival mode so my children could have as normal a life as possible.

I had a mental breakdown soon after arriving back home. The damage done included being sexually assaulted in such a way as after the fact, I felt like I had agreed to it.

Even after so many years have passed, considerable guilt accompanies the memories if I let them arise. I have known my inability to speak up undoubtedly allowed this same scheme to continue hurting the lives of others. Along with that, having my life threatened if I did not obey a perpetrator’s mandate made my world seem exceedingly unsafe.

The experience of losing my ability to decide how my body would be touched makes the memory of being assaulted hard to release.

Life has been affected in several ways after being raped. Some days I feel fear about taking a walk within my own good neighborhood. A feeling indicating “something bad might happen” is familiar. This is an apprehension that has to be shaken off at times.

The reason victims do not want to tell their stories after being raped is because something has been taken away from us. I have innately felt “if people know what happened to me, they will think less of me.” Of course, that is not true. Still, a victim of sexual abuse wants to live beyond it. We do not want to think about it as we do not want our thoughts or the thoughts of others to include that dark, painful place in our past. We live our lives best in the goodness of the present. Life itself is a present.

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The International Labor Organization estimates that roughly 50 million people are now living in conditions of modern slavery, in forms of forced labor and sex trafficking. There is no way we can know how many lives prostitution and human trafficking have interrupted and even ended. Some die trying to escape, many others work as directed under unheard of pressures. A great wound has been opened in our society through the files exposing the crimes of Jeffery Epstein. This has brought public concern as to why this heartbreaking abuse of women happened in the US. And why was it not handled differently, once it was discovered? Are our laws not clear enough on this? Are our penal codes not strong enough? Or is it a matter of prostitution being winked, mean now considered a regular part of society?

God forbid we close this wound up without first bringing effective treatment to this massive insult to humanity. Watchful, monitoring through eyes that are dedicated to bringing permanent resolutions to this huge harm in our society are essential.

Women who have been sexually abused rarely feel OK talking about it. Their agony over it is too great to think about it again, let alone to tell it. They want to forget about it. So, their stories are rarely told publicly, or even in courts. Sadly, it seems this may be the reason prostitution and human trafficking continue. Another element lies with the fact reading about rape–having a person’s body forcefully entered finds most people shudder and move on to find something to make life feel more safe. The same is true while reading about how women are induced into prostitution. Their stories are rarely told.

As shocking as these stories are of how women are captured or otherwise inducted to prostitution by perpetrators must be told and honored. A demand for change is in order. Pretending it does not happen or deciding it doesn’t matter will allow an inhuman industry to go on—and get worse. The shocking stories of how women are captured or otherwise inducted to prostitution by perpetrators must be told and honored

As for our governing powers, I now fully believe change can come if people are willing to tell their stories of what happened to them and how such an event has made life more difficult for them. The people we pay to take care of us must look at prostitution, know more about the ins and outs of it and seriously determine what is needed to heal the situation.

Thinking things are OK “as they are”, . . . that the problem will get better on its own—or go away, will only find prostitution and human trafficking getting worse. As it is, no one’s daughter is safe from common schemes like the one seen in the above story told by a woman who mustered her courage in order to make a difference for others.

For helps with difficulties of life, visit Joy’s other postings  within Healing-with-Joy.com. Also, enjoy visiting Healingwithjoy.blogspot.com which has amazing photography can be translated into any of the world’s known languages. Joy’s sites have readers in up to 50 countries.

By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

Years back Gary and I hired a man with great tree expertise to trim the trees about our home. We chatted frequently and he became a friend while beautifying our trees. He told of his “past life” as an executive with an office in a high rise within a big city.

While sitting at his desk one day he looked from his 7th floor window and saw a tree-trimmer at work. He thought, “That’s the life I want to live.” So after studying how best to do this earthy art, he started this new endeavor of trimming trees–and became superbly good at it.

Then a disabling accident found him depending on a doctor’s prescription for pain medications. He functioned well although everything about life was hard for him. Then came the time when opioids gained national attention due to their overuse by millions of people whose doctors were not closely monitoring the use of them. Many doctors, as well as our friend’s doctor, started warning their patients, as much as possible, about their prescription usage.

Our friend, now living on a “minimal amount” of the opioids as compared to what his doctor had permitted previously, found it far from adequate for managing his constant, agonizing pain. He called me, “Joy, I think as a chaplain you may be able to answer a question for me. What do you think God will do in my case if I take my life?”

I felt tremendous compassion for his plight. Then, without hesitation I told him that we have a merciful God, a loving God—and added that I believe we are to see our challenges on earth as opportunities to grow in our strength and through God’s help to be able to handle them. Yet, there are instances wherein a person has formidable pain and their back is against the wall to the point they can no longer tolerate living and breathing here on earth . . . some do make that final, momentous choice to end their life. Who can know if in that veracious moment the person takes his or her cause to the throne of God in prayer. I would like to believe that our Creator comprehends all and that person who is so sick goes straight into the loving arms of God. Yet, life is such a gift. And all judgement belongs to God.

Our friend was one who talked with us frequently about His love of Christ and of his prayers to be faithful. We prayed with hearts brimming with concern for him. Two years passed when we received a call informing us that our friend had ended his life.

Upon knowing of his choice I thought back on my words to him and prayed to always be helpful, not harmful. Still, in my heart of hearts, I want to believe he is in God’s loving arms and that we will see him again in Heaven. Clearly, there are sicknesses that some of us will never encounter. Therefore a circumstance such as I have written here, can only be judged by God.

When we are asked such a question as this man asked of me, we have to trust God to give us the words we need to speak. Hopefully what instantly comes to one’s heart is filled with love. It is far from easy to speak at such a time as this.  We can help others in the most difficult times of their lives by making sure we listen well. We can be of infinite help by letting a person know we care deeply for them and believe in them. We can pray as we listen to them, intending to truly know where that person is coming from. During times when the hardest of all decisions is pounding hard at a person’s heart, we can trust the great care of the God who made us is beyond our comprehension and above our understanding.

If while reading this today you are contemplating suicide, please find a person to talk with; if not a professional or a pastor perhaps the best person to share your soul with will come to mind. Trust that thought and meet with them; tell that person, “I need to talk about something serious. Would you be the one person willing to hear a very challenging decision I could soon make?’

And, be sure to talk to God. Then, listen—because God wants to be in conversation with us. He wants very much to help us, His voice is often still coming from deep within us—often like a whisper. God can be our partner in life while here on earth. Trust Him.

When my soul is in need of help, I open the Bible to the book of Psalms and read for a while. Before long I see what I am meant to know right then. The Bible is a mighty and powerful book!

As I write today, I pray that each reader becomes a better listener of other’s. It is highly important to hear one another, especially in this digital age—as we are also more rushed than ever. Without a doubt, God has helped many of us within various hard places through prayer, reading Scripture, plus hearing strengthening words from others.

Life on earth can bring huge challenges, but God’s help is here for us on terra firma. Proverbs 18:10 say, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” The name of the Lord is Jesus. And, that name holds power far greater than any other name we could ever speak. When we ask, the Lord of heaven does hear and He can extend strength beyond any we could have had without His help. Trust it. Try it. Believe!

If you want to comment or tell your story, please do so below. It will be read and you will have my prayers. I will do my best to respond.

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Do not write a comment here if you are planning suicide. I cannot advise you. But I will do my best to respond to a request for prayer. As per other difficulties, my website at healingwith-Joy.com is full of writings intended to help. Copy and share freely, while crediting this website. Donates at my homepage will keep this work going.