By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith

A “fellow” chaplain who is also a treasured friend called after reading the post of titled, “At what age do you think you daughter will be ready to read this?  She said, “Your article could help extend some ‘candlelight’ for young people, but you can’t stop there. What about readers who have difficult memories arise as they read what you wrote for the woman whose story you promised to “get it published.” Can they trust you to be there for them?” 

Yes.  She is right. I had to deal with my own triggered memories of a bad experience in keeping my promise to write the woman’s story. The truth of old, buried pain can surely arise to hurt once again when it is triggered. Whether it is something sudden, abusive or alarming that happened to us–or to a close loved one–we don’t want to be forced to revisit it. We feel assaulted again. And we do not like the moldy-mildewed feelings that arise.

Some of us do some self-blame. For some reason we seem to always have “what ifs,” thinking we could have done something to keep “that” from happening. This is false guilt. It does not serve us well. There is no help whatsoever in thinking “It was my fault.”  And, it is not fair to ourselves.  We all make mistakes. We cannot “do” this life without them. Mistakes teach us what works well and what does not work well.

Scripture is very specific about this: God does not want us to live with guilt or shame. The Scriptures show us the need for repentance when we have chosen to do something wrong. The way forward is bringing everything that concerns us to Him through prayer.

One of the most beautiful passages is in Matthew 11: 28-29, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Everything we ever do or experience is in “cold storage” in our brain. It is in our subconscious mind and can arise. This, at times, helps us when memories come up. And at other times it is for sure a memory can hurt us. The files of Jeffery Epstein that have in part been opened have brought up very difficult memories for many people.

Many years ago the Lord gave me a way of coming to Him, allowing Him to relieve me of a painful memory, about a plaguing situation that had me stirred up. It is a visualization that works with what is currently happening or what is coming up from my subconscious mind:

I call this “An Inner Healing Exercise” and use it when the experiences of life are difficult or painful. For best results, lie down (or sit quietly) envisioning the entirety of your torso covered by a huge sponge. See the Lord Jesus placing this sponge on your body, holding it there (or sightly over your body). Envision Him as sending love into your soul.

Next, purpose to let go the difficult feelings while visualizing them being released from your body and soul into the sponge. (I visualize vapors leaving my body while releasing the feelings.) Do this as long and as often as you need to while letting go of the pain you are feeling. At points, envision Jesus coming alongside and with His big hands He squeezes the sponge dry, then gently extends it again so we can do more releasing.

The subconscious mind works with pictures, images created by dreams, or by our creating them consciously. For this reason, an exercise such as this allows the message of healing to be received by the subconscious mind where healing is needed.

If tears flow, this is good. It will help you release the painful emotions and bless your body with relief. Tell yourself that love is flowing like a river into your heart and throughout your entire body, replacing the pain. Offer thanks to God as you receive healing. This is a process; it takes varying degrees of time, depending on the depth of the pain.

I find the exercise even more helpful when it is possible to fall asleep within the process of releasing the pain. This allows the healing to move deeper into the subconscious mind where restoration is needed.

We learn how to defeat false guilt by recognizing it, then releasing it. We can say, “My spirit is done with that” when we feel responsible for something that is out of our control–or carries false guilt.  

“False guilt comes from saying no to people . . . . The only true guilt comes from saying no to God.” From Paul Tournier’s Guilt and Grace.

Visit Healing-with-Joy.com for many articles dealing with the difficulties and uncertainties of life.

By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA

Years ago my friend Marge’s teenage son was killed while skiing with friends and classmates at Bogus Basin Ski Resort. He ran into a tree and was killed instantly.

That night after my friend received the news in her home I witnessed astounding faith.

“Tommy is with God,” she said through her tears. “He is now praying for us.”

She was suffering all the feelings of shock and unbelief that Tom could be taken from their home so suddenly, but the overriding theme flowing from Marge that night was one of trust and assurance that God would bring meaning to Tom’s death.

A Mass was scheduled the following morning at Bishop Kelly High School for a grieving student body, along with the family. Marge said, “Jim and I cannot go. But it would make me happy if you would go.”

The gymnasium was filled with students, friends and faculty. Tom had been designated “Outstanding Sophomore of the year.” He was a treasured person. That fact of his distinctive acumen was born out by more than words.

People gathered. Words were said. And, comfort came as compassion was felt. No doubt each came away with some nugget of truth. For me it was Father William Dodgson’s words: “This is a time when Tom would want you to make your faith work.”

We all grapple with the meaning of life and death–and come away like Jacob of the Old Testament, injured but blessed. We have a new appreciation for life’s essence. We find ourselves blessed in the realization that each one of us is mortal, reminded not to take people for granted.

Grief is torture. It strikes us cruelly, ripping away the peripherals, giving us a long look at our nakedness. It is human life that is at stake. Time seems to stand still while we grieve. It is a time for “verbal thinking” and “notional beliefs” to make that long journey from head to heart. Often faith is weighed in the balance and found wanting as we cry out, “Lord I believe . . . help my unbelief!”

While caught in the throes of grief sometimes we cling to God for our strength and solace and other times we throw our anger like into His face, attempting to empty ourselves of the burden. But if we refrain from turning our backs on Go—if we wait, watch and listen instead of running – we will encounter His response, the long loving gaze of a Father who also has suffered. A Father who understands.

John 14:1-2, tells us, “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know. ”

How wonderful are the truths of Scripture.

About the author: Joy Le page Smith, MA is a Board Certified Clinical Chaplain. Visit Healing-with-Joy.com for Joy’s blog along with many helpful articles addressing life’s difficulties. Her books and blogs are read in up to 32 countries. Her second site is at Healingwithjoy.blogspot.com