By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith

A “fellow” chaplain who is also a treasured friend called after reading the post of titled, “At what age do you think you daughter will be ready to read this?  She said, “Your article could help extend some ‘candlelight’ for young people, but you can’t stop there. What about readers who have difficult memories arise as they read what you wrote for the woman whose story you promised to “get it published.” Can they trust you to be there for them?” 

Yes.  She is right. I had to deal with my own triggered memories of a bad experience in keeping my promise to write the woman’s story. The truth of old, buried pain can surely arise to hurt once again when it is triggered. Whether it is something sudden, abusive or alarming that happened to us–or to a close loved one–we don’t want to be forced to revisit it. We feel assaulted again. And we do not like the moldy-mildewed feelings that arise.

Some of us do some self-blame. For some reason we seem to always have “what ifs,” thinking we could have done something to keep “that” from happening. This is false guilt. It does not serve us well. There is no help whatsoever in thinking “It was my fault.”  And, it is not fair to ourselves.  We all make mistakes. We cannot “do” this life without them. Mistakes teach us what works well and what does not work well.

Scripture is very specific about this: God does not want us to live with guilt or shame. The Scriptures show us the need for repentance when we have chosen to do something wrong. The way forward is bringing everything that concerns us to Him through prayer.

One of the most beautiful passages is in Matthew 11: 28-29, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Everything we ever do or experience is in “cold storage” in our brain. It is in our subconscious mind and can arise. This, at times, helps us when memories come up. And at other times it is for sure a memory can hurt us. The files of Jeffery Epstein that have in part been opened have brought up very difficult memories for many people.

Many years ago the Lord gave me a way of coming to Him, allowing Him to relieve me of a painful memory, about a plaguing situation that had me stirred up. It is a visualization that works with what is currently happening or what is coming up from my subconscious mind:

I call this “An Inner Healing Exercise” and use it when the experiences of life are difficult or painful. For best results, lie down (or sit quietly) envisioning the entirety of your torso covered by a huge sponge. See the Lord Jesus placing this sponge on your body, holding it there (or sightly over your body). Envision Him as sending love into your soul.

Next, purpose to let go the difficult feelings while visualizing them being released from your body and soul into the sponge. (I visualize vapors leaving my body while releasing the feelings.) Do this as long and as often as you need to while letting go of the pain you are feeling. At points, envision Jesus coming alongside and with His big hands He squeezes the sponge dry, then gently extends it again so we can do more releasing.

The subconscious mind works with pictures, images created by dreams, or by our creating them consciously. For this reason, an exercise such as this allows the message of healing to be received by the subconscious mind where healing is needed.

If tears flow, this is good. It will help you release the painful emotions and bless your body with relief. Tell yourself that love is flowing like a river into your heart and throughout your entire body, replacing the pain. Offer thanks to God as you receive healing. This is a process; it takes varying degrees of time, depending on the depth of the pain.

I find the exercise even more helpful when it is possible to fall asleep within the process of releasing the pain. This allows the healing to move deeper into the subconscious mind where restoration is needed.

We learn how to defeat false guilt by recognizing it, then releasing it. We can say, “My spirit is done with that” when we feel responsible for something that is out of our control–or carries false guilt.  

“False guilt comes from saying no to people . . . . The only true guilt comes from saying no to God.” From Paul Tournier’s Guilt and Grace.

Visit Healing-with-Joy.com for many articles dealing with the difficulties and uncertainties of life.

By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

Reading the Bible brings truth to the soul. It holds a lot of wonderful words full of truth and hope–promises that reach deep within prompting love toward God and towards others. The Bible is laden with concepts and conditions that heal our hearts and greatly enriches our lives.

Yet, God extends clear expectations and there are consequences when we ignore those directives and do whatever we please. This is as true for nations as it is for individuals. Take China for instance.

During the 70’s and the 80’s the government of this communist country decreed that married couples have only one child. Abortion was made available and heavy consequences followed people who defied the government’s directive. Consequently, this ruling curbed the birthrate.

Within the decades that followed couples espoused the stance of “one child only” and adapted to it. Given time, this took root in the depth of China. Couples came to believe that more than one child would create an unbearable load of work, timewise, taking more from their lives mentally, financially and physically than believed manageable.

Today, the Chinese government is doing all they possibly can to promote couples to have more than one child. They are now urging three children per family and monitoring couples closely, tracking the numbers.

In the very first chapter of the Bible, Genesis 1:28, we read that God blessed the men and women He created and said, “. . . be fruitful and multiply fill the earth and subdue it.”

A belief in God is not part and parcel to communism of course. Yet the Chinese government is presently pursuing God’s directive “be fruitful and multiply.” One of the posters governmental officials are using states, “Life is the continuation of love.” Sounds like something with which God could easily agree.

However, atheistic China is not promoting the love of God or the truths of Scripture. They are simply faced with a declining population that threatens economic growth. Consequently, China’s policy makers are once again inserting themselves into the lives and choices of couples pressing them to make babies. Guess what: they are no longer promoting abortion. The motive behind the switch of policy is not repentance over loss of many millions—perhaps even billions—of babies. Rather, it is about economic losses.

Their new practice of knocking on doors, questioning and supplying prenatal vitamins are now in place stating clearly, “Our country needs more people.”  They are trying to correct a huge mistake by pressing again into matters of procreation.

In 1 John 4:8, we are assured, “God is love.” And, we are “made in the likeness of God,” according to Genesis 1:27. Loving and the sharing of love are part and parcel to God’s plan. This element of humanity needs to be highly valued by all due to its all-inclusive benefits. Ideally, the rules of governments will respect and defend such “paybacks.”

After all, it is not “treasure on earth” or the power of “gross national product” that matters. What matters is coming to know what God wants of our lives and following it as best we can. We make mistakes, but can readily correct them. God totally forgives through the redemptive work of Christ—once we ask. Following Jesus’ teachings makes way for Him to do a glorious work in one’s life. The surprising part is the abundance of peace and joy that result!

Author information: Joy Le Page smith is a Board Certified Chaplain who is also a newspaper columnist. Her four books are on Amazon and also at Healing-with-Joy.com. Visit her website where you will also find hundreds of FREE helps to people who are hurting. Also view her children’s book, The Little Mountain Goat Who Was Afraid of High Places FREE.

By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

Recently a fellow chaplain told of her growing edge, admitting how bothered she can get at other drivers on the road. She said, “I don’t know why people ignore signs—or at times even the lights!” I noticed the intensity of this kind woman’s voice and realized her as a kindred spirit. We both fill our lives with doing what we can to help others know they are loved by God within their illnesses, and/or deaths. We shared the truth that sometimes we need support in our own growth processes.

Many years ago while in a growth group talking about ways to improve ourselves, the subject of our road experiences came up. I blurted out this admission, “If you see me on the road, just pull over and pray!” That was a great group. We laughed a lot within these conversations.

My chaplain friend and I admit that driving still finds us fuming on occasions at least momentarily. And, as we talked further it was evident we both have recently decided to care more for other drivers, and to pray for them, while sensing that old feeling of “hot under the collar.” Sometimes it helps to pray that “certain drivers” will get well deserved tickets before hurting themselves or others. Some people learn this way.

Growing in patience is challenging, yet it clearly leads to an Excellency within spiritual growth toward which many of us continually seek to advance.

Galatians 5:22-24, is pertinent, here. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

Once I prayed for patience—and only once. It seemed God was happy to answer that prayer … as He knows how much easier life will be as we work on gaining patience (self-control, even longsuffering). Then several “new” challenges came soon after, that seemed consequential.  So, that prayer calls for added spiritual gumption.

Gradually, we learn in life that God is love and one of His greatest gifts to us comes through our caring deeply for our “neighbors–even our anonymous neighbors next to us in cars. While growing in our ability to love we become empowered to gain the nine fruits of the Spirit shown above.

For sure, we will not always remember to be kind, caring and patient—and forgiving–while driving the roads. Still, let’s not stop trying. Every day is a new beginning. As Thomas H Palmer (1840), put it, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

I recently took a new tack for being patient while on the road. I asked God to help me become a dedicated driver. Being a dedicated driver will see me choosing as I put the key in the ignition to be “good as gold” while at the wheel . . . able to momentarily shift gears–out of judgement of others–into self-control. My hope these days is to always care about what other drivers may be going through in their lives while asking God to help them discover that they are loved and with prayer everything can turn out for the good as they place their trust in Him.

About the author: Joy Le Page Smith is a Board certified clinical chaplain. Her articles and blogs are read in 32 countries. Joy’s four books are available on her home page at Healing-with-Joy.com where readers can view–FREE–her children’s book titled, The Little Mountain Goat Who Was Afraid of High Places.