With the approach of Easter, so also does Bethany’s birthday. Thirty-three years ago, this “little teacher” came into my family. Just prior to her birth a rather strange experience occurred. With very few exceptions, everything I purchased over several weeks seemed flawed in some way. Back to stores I go, over and over, toting my purchases where patient salesclerks make exchanges. This happened enough that I decide to pray, “God, this is strange. Is there message I am supposed to be “getting?”

What was to come was something I could not easily accept. I was soon to face up to my silly perfectionism.

After three sons and three grandsons, our long awaited granddaughter was born. There could not have been a more proud or happier heart than mine. All those precious dreams were about to come true in this perfect little granddaughter for whom I had waited so long!

Then came the call, a few hours after her birth, “Mom, pray for the baby. They think she has Down’s Syndrome.”

I was alone at home when Ted called, which was good. During the next couple of hours, God had “major surgery” to do on this grandmother’s heart. I was stumbling all over what this would mean.

Then the trip to the hospital where Bethany is placed in my arms. All that armor against “imperfections” was pierced by a tiny hand. Sleepy little fingers . . .  what healing they hold. In those moments, all is well.

Sure, pondering continued as I behold this newest member of our family. And, there are fears. But what truly amazes me is how right up to the moment of embrace I wanted to change her. Then the essence of her “beingness” reaches out bringing stillness to my soul. I recall, what inspired the Psalmist: “Be still and know that I am God.” 

Several days later, when the medical testing came back positive we were all fairly ready for it. But during the weeks since Bethany’s birth my emotions are doing some flip-flops. There is denial, anger and depression. I am concerned as to what life will hold for her. Then blessed peace comes in, verging on acceptance. I bounce about from one to the other. Fortunately, somewhere along life’s way I have learned the uselessness of trying to bargain with God, so I skip that one.

Many prayers are said for strength and understanding as our entire family makes adjustments. Praise and thanksgiving are also offered knowing she has love and acceptance in the home God has placed her.

My son, like his mother, grapples with many a thought, many a feeling—yet, he comes through. It is plain to see he will be exceedingly caring and protective of this little one.

Bethany, meaning “house of God” seems to exude love. Everyone clamors for their turn to hold her—right down to her two-year-old brother. We cannot understand God’s ways. His truth reaches deep, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

It is easy to see Him in Bethany, our “little one who needs a friend to live,” as John Vanier portrays in his work among handicapped children at L’Arche.

Wonder of wonders, each heart in this family has stretched like rubber bands. Now, with enlarged capacity, we can truly receive heaven’s great message … one of life, and of love.

It is impossible to know what is ahead. But one thing is sure. Bethany is perfectly ours. She is God’s extraordinary gift to an ordinary family. Only eternity will reveal her work.

People call it a “birth defect.” Although surely having passed through God’s Hand before reaching us, this circumstance is sanctified, bringing with it opportunities to embrace suffering with love. Bethany, one who is unable to speak, has underscored this message.

Peace and acceptance comes in remembering, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Within hardships, adjustments and unanswerable questions, it is how we handle these that tell whether or not we are living in faith . . . truly able to “be Christ’s presence” to one another. It is so easy to fool ourselves.

For me, pride can easily slip in, at points, insisting everything needs to be perfect. Of course being disappointed in myself follows, as I cannot be perfect. Humility comes when I pray to God, “In the midst of all this imperfection I will ever seek Your grace for the perfecting of my faith.”

The events of life bring attitudinal changes—if we are “listening.”

Fortunately, God is unlike the local merchant. He is more interested in perfecting character—than in having “satisfied customers.”

‘Happy birthday, Bethany”—and “many more.”

It is a day in which to rejoice.

About the author: Joy Le Page Smith is a Board certified-clinical chaplain. Her articles and blogs are read in up to 32 countries. Her four books are available on Amazon and at Healingwithjoy.blogspot.com 

By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA

One sweet, sunny day while on a walk with Gary, I recalled a spot where I fell some 20 years ago, having slipped on loose gravel at the corner of South Palo Verdi and Fiesta Drive. Suddenly we hear the squeal of wheels—then the driver jumps out to help. He quickly tells us he is an ER doctor, here, visiting friends.

“I saw you fall!” After seeing where I was hurting, he said, “You may have a fractured rib; which can hurt a lot. You could go to the ER, yet this kind of fracture can heal by itself. It takes waiting it out.”

Fortunately, we are close to home so it is not far to walk. Still, I can barely move for the pain. This is when Dr. “Good heart” pulls a bottle of pills from his pocket, places a round, white pill in my hand and says, “This will help you until you can see your doctor.” What he gave me was Tylenol #3-Codeine.

Even today, it is still hard to believe what happened. Not only the fact I stumbled over my own feet—but an emergency doctor stopped his car—“Johnny on the Spot”—to assess my status and provide a pain pill! Wow! Here is a good place to use of the word “awesome!” He was right, I only had a broken rib, but I think the experience of such amazing, sudden help was as good for me as the pill! This is an example of the kinds of things that don’t reach the news.

Rarely do I have a low moment, but today I met with a wish for the world to stop so I could catch up. Gary said, “How about taking a nap. I think that will help.” All I needed was that nudge. Upon awakening he suggested we take a walk and that is when he reminded me at the corner of “walk and don’t walk” of what happened “way back when.” I hope through the years this Good Samaritan has been blessed. Certainly, that is my prayer as for sure his name is still sacrosanct at our house!

Ours is a helping community and there seems to be good reason for that. I have heard stories of people who settled here at the community’s earliest beginnings. Before there was a Kmart, or even a full-scale grocery store, people had to drive to Kingman for diapers and baby food. Those trips were shared as this made for less time and gas spent on the road for the many shopping events.

Imagine those early days when there was no hospital. So those early people, the true pioneers, were linked in spirit and cared very much about one another’s needs. They put their “shoulder to the wheel” for the sake of others in ways that we can only imagine at this time. Love and gratitude surely flowed from house to house in many instances. This is a heritage, passed on to us.

Thanksgiving will soon be here. Many of us will be sitting at table with loved ones, most likely thinking about that for which we are thankful. This is healthy—and it enriches our spirits. Those of us who read Scripture regularly know there are benefits in positive thinking, having a thankful heart—and looking for the good in all situations.

This wisdom is verified within many Scripture passages. For instance, Proverb 17:22, indicates gratitude even benefits our physical health: “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” And, Proverbs 23:7, say, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he . . .” Amazing as it may sound, our thoughts make us who we are.

Although sorrows do occur in life, we can alleviate the pain by choosing to perpetually revisit what is positive, and with faith perceive the good that lies ahead.

Remember the song . . .”Counting your many blessings, name them one by one . . . count your many blessings, see what God has done.”

Joy Le Page Smith is a Board certified-clinical chaplain. Her articles and blogs are read in up to 32 countries. Her four books are available on Amazon and at Healingwithjoy.blogspot.com