By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA

My Grandmother Margret chewed tobacco. She grew up in Arkansas in the early 1900s at a time when most teenagers savored this practice. But Grandma continued this into her old age.

Certainly, this was a questionable behavior for us who are her grandchildren. Inwardly, we “closed our noses” while seeing her use her spit can. But I enjoyed my grandmother. She loved having me comb her hair and just be with her. She mended clothes and crocheted from mid-life on. The greatest thing about this grandmother is that she loved God and was quietly prayerful. She always went to church – in fact she helped found a little church in Boise, Idaho, on Main Street while beginning her family of eight children.

Her husband, my “Grandpa” Butler was a logger, at that time. He did not approve of Grandma’s religion. In fact he hid her shoes so she would not go to church. But Grandma went anyway, in her bare feet. His objections to her faith were definite until the time when a tree fell on him, after which an angel stood on the stump and preached him a sermon. From that time on this Grandpa went to church with Grandma into his old age.

I will pause for a moment to tell you about my Grandmother Mary, on my mother’s side. She too was wonderful, a mother of 12 children of French lineage, the family dating back to the times of King Louis XIV. Her forefathers migrated into Québec in the 1600s. Although I have not traveled there I have a picture of a statue erected in honor of that family as Germain and Reine Lepage (brothers) were early settlers of Québec, able people, notable contributors.

This grandmother always had our attention and our respect. She too went to church regularly alone without her husband, and always put others ahead of herself. She was quiet. I only remember one conversation with Grandma Mary. I was about to be married. She gave me this advice, “Have a glass of water at bedtime – and nothing else.” I knew exactly what she was saying . . . still, I did my part with posterity, adding three sons within less than a decade.

There is no comparison of these Grandparents. Each of them taught me the importance of family and of the importance of sacrificing for one’s family. These messages came through observing them, as I have no memory of them giving advice, except for the one exception extended as noted above. How they lived their lives with love for God and love for their families brought considerable knowledge and wealth to my soul.

With Grandma Mary, who hardly ever spoke at all, I learned the power of presence. I came to understand the importance of silence. Especially, at meals where it was mostly about digesting our food. Grandma Mary was a master of silence, while I continually pray to practice it.
Grandparents have powerful roles in the lives of children and grandchildren. Whatever they do or do not do– these are notable people—prominent people in most every society. Of course not everyone succeeds well as a grandparent. They, too serve as what not to do.

Another lesson I learned from my grandparents was to be hard-working and to care very much about those who are outside your own family. My Grandfather Henry had a large grocery store, was cheated out of his business by a brother, then started a small neighborhood grocery. He was known for feeding families on credit. I was told by a schoolmate, once, of how her family made it through the depression because of my grandfather. He did not go to church but certainly exemplified the teachings of the Bible through the way he lived. He was very much loved by all of us. His work at the store was endless; still grandad took time with us kids, teaching us how to play cards. But we can never play on Sunday. That was his rule.

Why tell of the snus habit my grandmother maintained? Well, I think Grandma Margret would want me to do so if it could help others “get a clue.” We who loved her looked beyond what was ugly and saw all the beauty in her. Maybe that is the way we should look at ourselves, while doing our best to get past our “uglys.” Could it be God has great joy, in being within our souls, regardless of what we have not yet overcome? Maybe He is watching us like little children learning to dance. We miss a lot of steps, yet keep going! He sees what we accomplish in spite of it all. In the long haul what God sees is the good, while pulling for us to “stay in the light.”

There is lots to be said about not judging one another, while keeping our minds on what we can improve in ourselves. Grandma’s faux pas was right out there in front for all to see, pretty much continually. Conversely, most of us struggle silently with ways in which we know we could do better. But hiding what can bring shame is definitely hard on our health, both physically and spiritually. It is great knowing those who truly love us overlook the fact we are not perfect. This is giving one another grace. If we judge another, it means we don’t truly love them.

I believe both of my grandmothers were “saints.” Yet, I was closest to Grandmother Margret because she shared her heart. She talked of her faith. The fact she also lived it was evident, plus the whole family always knew this dear person was praying for us. Before she died she told me of her practice of praying every day for all members of the family by name. That would be a lot of names! Since then I’ve worked at carrying her tradition forward. Her portraying, through word and deed, what it is to be a Christian resulted in nearly every one of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren becoming people of faith. I learned from her that it pays to speak up about matters of faith—and to do one’s best to bring our families all the way to heaven’s gates through keeping them in our prayers.

“Love is patient, love is kind,” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Joy Le Page Smith is a Board certified-clinical chaplain. Her articles and blogs are read in up to 32 countries. Her four books are available on Amazon and at Healingwithjoy.blogspot.com 

By Chaplain Joy Le Page Smith, MA

One sweet, sunny day while on a walk with Gary, I recalled a spot where I fell some 20 years ago, having slipped on loose gravel at the corner of South Palo Verdi and Fiesta Drive. Suddenly we hear the squeal of wheels—then the driver jumps out to help. He quickly tells us he is an ER doctor, here, visiting friends.

“I saw you fall!” After seeing where I was hurting, he said, “You may have a fractured rib; which can hurt a lot. You could go to the ER, yet this kind of fracture can heal by itself. It takes waiting it out.”

Fortunately, we are close to home so it is not far to walk. Still, I can barely move for the pain. This is when Dr. “Good heart” pulls a bottle of pills from his pocket, places a round, white pill in my hand and says, “This will help you until you can see your doctor.” What he gave me was Tylenol #3-Codeine.

Even today, it is still hard to believe what happened. Not only the fact I stumbled over my own feet—but an emergency doctor stopped his car—“Johnny on the Spot”—to assess my status and provide a pain pill! Wow! Here is a good place to use of the word “awesome!” He was right, I only had a broken rib, but I think the experience of such amazing, sudden help was as good for me as the pill! This is an example of the kinds of things that don’t reach the news.

Rarely do I have a low moment, but today I met with a wish for the world to stop so I could catch up. Gary said, “How about taking a nap. I think that will help.” All I needed was that nudge. Upon awakening he suggested we take a walk and that is when he reminded me at the corner of “walk and don’t walk” of what happened “way back when.” I hope through the years this Good Samaritan has been blessed. Certainly, that is my prayer as for sure his name is still sacrosanct at our house!

Ours is a helping community and there seems to be good reason for that. I have heard stories of people who settled here at the community’s earliest beginnings. Before there was a Kmart, or even a full-scale grocery store, people had to drive to Kingman for diapers and baby food. Those trips were shared as this made for less time and gas spent on the road for the many shopping events.

Imagine those early days when there was no hospital. So those early people, the true pioneers, were linked in spirit and cared very much about one another’s needs. They put their “shoulder to the wheel” for the sake of others in ways that we can only imagine at this time. Love and gratitude surely flowed from house to house in many instances. This is a heritage, passed on to us.

Thanksgiving will soon be here. Many of us will be sitting at table with loved ones, most likely thinking about that for which we are thankful. This is healthy—and it enriches our spirits. Those of us who read Scripture regularly know there are benefits in positive thinking, having a thankful heart—and looking for the good in all situations.

This wisdom is verified within many Scripture passages. For instance, Proverb 17:22, indicates gratitude even benefits our physical health: “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” And, Proverbs 23:7, say, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he . . .” Amazing as it may sound, our thoughts make us who we are.

Although sorrows do occur in life, we can alleviate the pain by choosing to perpetually revisit what is positive, and with faith perceive the good that lies ahead.

Remember the song . . .”Counting your many blessings, name them one by one . . . count your many blessings, see what God has done.”

Joy Le Page Smith is a Board certified-clinical chaplain. Her articles and blogs are read in up to 32 countries. Her four books are available on Amazon and at Healingwithjoy.blogspot.com

What’s your stool softener in life?

By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, BCC

Now, don’t get too excited. Our community is majorly made up of senior citizens. So this is a merciful topic. Besides, every organ in the body is sacred—and the Bible speaks of  “bowels of mercy.”

Further support for going on this ground comes through this fact: All of us have to eat and drink fluids in order to stay alive. Just as importantly, we must eliminate what we eat and drink regularly in order to stay on the upside of the planet Earth’s crust.

Sometimes we take staying alive for granted. Also, most of us take our elimination process for granted. I know this due to needing abdominal surgeries early in my life which resulted in the growth of adhesions that caused intestinal “lock downs” or bowel blockages. Emergency surgeries were needed twice; at other times they were resolved with the help of a few days of hospital care–as I am still “here.”

Another side to this subject comes through the fact we live in a stressful environment here on earth . . .and even more so during times when things come along that threaten our endurance. We get “up tight.”

Significant medical research bears out the fact there is a direct connection between our brains and our bowels. When we feel highly challenged “upstairs” the “downstairs” essentials tense up and perhaps even tighten down—or frantically loosen up. Now things are out of control!

We are not just a body with a brain as many seem to think. We are three-part beings, body, mind, spirit. The spirit part of us intercedes within life in numerous ways and truly can affect our mental health.  It is becoming more pertinent in medicine that there are chronic illnesses that cannot be understood without factoring in social-cultural environments and human experience.

Medicine does not, for the most part, deal with the spiritual part of a person. Yet, emerging evidence indicates the need to include a person’s psychological and spiritual –in addition to the biological findings—particularly when a diagnosis is perplexing to the medical team.

Who cannot say that life is getting “pushier,” meaning more can be done in a shorter period of time given computer processing. Consequently, more is expected of us by employers and others. We expect more of ourselves as we want to keep up. Consequently, maintaining good mental health, escaping depression and anxiety is more of a challenge for most of us. For sure, the brain-bowel connection does come to play at points while under pressure. We then need either a stool softener or running shoes.

What I notice is that if I stick with my usual premise of spending some time with Scripture and prayer in the early a.m., refreshing my “God connection,” I find myself much calmer and satisfied with what comes down the pike that day.  All is easier. On the other hand if in a rush to get more done than I can do—there is a chance I might experience the brain-bowel connection.

Perhaps, if individuals were to consider caring for their spiritual selves as well as their physical selves there would be less need for doctoring . . . just a thought.

Notable things, even marvelous things, can happen if we follow the Biblical guidance to build ourselves up “in faith praying in the Holy Spirit.” (Jude 1:20).

About the author: Joy Le Page Smith is a Board certified clinical chaplain. Her articles and blogs are read in up to-32 countries.

Chaplain Joy’s website Healing-with-joy.com holds many helps for people struggling with various life challenges, including spirituality. Feel free to copy the materials while also crediting this website.  Joy’s four books are available on her home page at Healing-with-Joy.com where readers can view FREE her children’s book titled, The Little Mountain Goat Who Was Afraid of High Places.

By Joy Le Page Smith, MA, Board Certified Chaplain

As years slip by, do you feel you are accomplishing what you want in life?

 My next birthday will be here in a couple of days.  The numbers keep growing. Am I living my dream? And what is my dream?

Being a mother of sons who have grown into their destinies, being highly able to love–exceeding able to endure the challenges life rolls onto the screen for them–is one of the greatest accomplishments of  being here on Planet Earth. Being in a gainful marriage for 57 years . . . loving and serving together in adventuresome ways is another.

But the most challenging feat of all lies with seeking to live perpetually comfortable in my own skin. Am I enough? Have I done enough? Why can’t I live without making mistakes? Why, why, why . . .

I have always tried to look my best . . . and believe me, aging takes a whack at that! Big time. So, best laugh about what the mirror is trying to tell me!

Then I think, why did God create me? Probably His best hope is that I keep on loving and helping the ones I love get through this life. Sometimes, I am asked to keep loving while taking some “blows” undeserved. And, sometimes I am the sender of the “blows.” The other day I told my sister, “Don’t be so bossy.” Then I wondered, “How loving is that?”

Perhaps speaking honestly to one-another does more than to help clear the air of our souls. We can, at appropriate times, help each other see our blind spots. Still, I wonder how loving I came across with my sister during that moment.

While journaling, I often talk to God through writing questions then writing what I perceive to hear. Recently, I wrote, “Lord, what is the real purpose you foresaw for us humans when you went to so much trouble to create such a marvelous and beautiful place for us to live and breathe?”

I heard back, “To love and be loved.”

More came as I listened, but this part is for sharing: I am to know that for this time in life it is enough to just be who I am, doing what I enjoy doing—as long as it comes from the love of my heart. Perhaps the best of all we grandmas and grandpas do while still here is to simply  be a living, breathing example, exhibiting huge amounts of patience while dealing with gradual losses—both physically and mentally. After all, the brain shrinks a bit once we get into these higher numbers. There are some memory blips and focusing on ‘what to do next’ gets harder. These changes can be quite unnerving at times and it can be easy to lose our sense of worth. Plus, “Old pappy time” elbows in with the truth that the end is just around the bend.

Ultimately, within the aging process it is a time for opening our hearts more and more fully to God, talking to Him like He is our closest Pal. After all, God knows the “going” is getting tougher—even really tough at times. God is with us in this race against time; but He asks us not to make it a race.

“Cool your jets. Enjoy the time that’s left,” was heard while listening last week.

Why should we be afraid to listen to the Author of Love whose Holy Spirit abides and is with us everywhere we go?

“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

###

Healing-with-Joy.com — VIEW FREE– – Joy’s children’s book titled: The Little Mountain Goat Who Was Afraid of High Places.

Please know there are over a hundred helpful articles at Healing-with-Joy.com–FREE–for people who are struggling with varied difficulties. Find these along with this author’s four books.

Copy articles if you wish, while crediting this website.

Years back, Jessica Savitch interviewed Whoopi Goldberg on television. Whoopi told of her mother referring to her as “extra ordinary,” when she was a child. Whoopi said, “I used to think she meant extraordinary. But, all the time she just meant ‘extra ordinary.”’ Whoopi believed she could do extraordinary things. So, she has! Her keen ability to impersonate common people and ordinary events, while bringing humor to the mundane has enriched many lives. Historically, Whoopi has shared her extraordinary ability to shed delightful color on the simplicity and silliness of our everyday selves.

Clearly, the “extra ordinary” person Whoopi’s mother spoke of could best describe Hazel, my new found hero. She has not experienced fame, yet “extraordinary” describes Hazel well, as her dedication is carried with such grace and fortitude as to be challenging for some and encouraging for others.

So often we go through life longing for extraordinary experiences, eagerly awaiting the exceptional, the remarkable to take place. When all the time the real joy of living is found in being content with and discovering pleasure in the commonplace—in the present moment, especially while listening to the stories of others.

Extraordinary happenings of life, which always come, bring great surprise along with that occasional bit of rapture so good for the soul. However, if we are constantly on the hunt for the “peaks,” of finding what is superbly uncommon—the experiences that can titillate or otherwise thrill—then ordinary happenstances, like hearing the stories of another’s life, could just seem dull.

For sure, the conversation of a person who has traversed the earth for 7-9 decades can take a little more time and perhaps more patience while listening. Being in a hurry, may mean wisdom is lost. A prevalent “On with the action” mode of being is easy to slip into.

Fascinated by the unusual, all sorts of memorabilia entice us. We collect stamps, papers, dolls, books, bottles and old coins—antiques of every sort. And, what happens to people who have accumulated great age? Those seen as “spent” are warehoused far too often; as if human souls can be pushed into “attics” until “collected” by someone who stumbles onto the truth of their value . . . long after the person’s demise. Then they may exclaim, “Hey, this person had it together!” Yes, surely some must live out the last months and sometimes even years of their lives in care centers. But must they be deserted mentally and emotionally?

The following segment of a poem by William Wordsworth, the English poet (of 1770-1850), speaks of this:

“I heard a thousand blended notes,

While in a grove I sat reclined,

In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts

Bring sad thoughts to the mind.

To her fair works did Nature link

The human soul that through me ran;

And much it grieved my heart to think

What man has made of man.”

There seems to be a bit of “bareness” as people reach their later years. But, what if we determine to affirm the elderly—the “antique people” and seek out their stories. Envision our ability to validate them in such ways as they feel there is still beauty and purpose in being here.

My dream for this year is for growth in the ability to enjoy the ordinary, while also honing in on the stories of my fellow globe-trotters. I want to listen better and be able to perceive their richness, solidity and wisdom. It is similar to how those of us who live in the Arizona desert develop a keen ability to see past barrenness, as our eyes are ever finding the beauty that is there for those who have the “eyes to see it.”

The Bible holds great hope. Psalm 92:12-14, shows people “in old age” as “still bearing fruit . . . fresh and flourishing, declaring their faith in the Lord.”

Way to go!